Fix you
by HotchTitch
Summary: After Foyet, Hotch turned to drugs in order to try and cope. Thanks to a phone call from Jack at 2AM one morning, Rossi finds out about his addiction and vows to help him through it. Rated M for drug abuse and eventual slash. Don't like it, don't read it.
1. Flying so high

**/ It's been awhile since I uploaded a story, but here's my next attempt at one. It's one I'm rather excited about and I hope you'll be just as excited for it by the time I'm done. As usual, I don't own criminal minds, nor the characters. Enjoy the first chapter and reviews are appreciated. Thanks, and enjoy :) /**

**Fix you**

Hotch tried not to yawn as he slipped the key into the door, turning it and letting himself into his apartment. It had been one of his more stressful days at work; what with budget cut meetings and Strauss getting in his face. He wasn't surprised by the latter though. It didn't help that he was falling behind on his consults and his paperwork. That was a lie, but with his current mindset, he _felt_ like he was falling behind. He took a deep breath to compose himself, setting his briefcase on the floor as the door shut behind him. Hotch could hear the familiar sounds of Jack's cartoons playing from the front room, followed by the sound of Jack's voice as he told the good guys to kick the bad guys butt.

A small smile graced his lips, before he headed into the kitchen. Jessica had been wiping up the kitchen counters as he walked in.

"Hey Aaron," she greeted, putting the cloth down and turning to face her brother-in-law – ex brother-in-law.

"Hey," he said, removing his tie and putting on the counter. "How was your day?" He asked, opening one of the cupboards and pulling a glass out. Jessica just nods her head and offers him a smile.

"It was good. Jack was an angel as always. He's been fed; he just needs his bath, which is already run," she said to him, putting her jacket on as Hotch filled the cup with water. Hotch nods and drinks the water.

"Thanks," he said gently, as he walked with her to the door. "See you tomorrow, Jessica." He watched her leave and then shut the door behind her, sliding the lock across and setting the alarm. Hotch stands by the door for a moment or two, looking at the pictures he had on the wall – all of them contained Jack. He went to the front room, seeing Jack sat on the couch as he clutched the remote. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he sat down next to his son.

"Hey buddy," he said, earning a prompt grin from his son, followed by a, "Daddy!" Jack crawled over and sat himself in his father's lap. Hotch wrapped his arms around his son, cradling him close to his chest as the cartoon played out.

"Come on Jack, bath time." Jack wrinkled his nose, but got up from his father's lap anyway and ran to the bathroom. Hotch took the time to turn the TV off, heading off in the direction of his son. He leaned against the door frame, watching his son sat in the bath, playing with his ducks and superhero figures. Jack laughed away to himself, telling his dad exactly what was happening; specifically killer ducks that had to be stopped by Captain America and Batman.

Eventually, Hotch sat next to the bathtub, playing the king of the duck's as Jack proceeded to put the duck away in a maximum-security prison.

"It's time we washed your hair little man and got you to bed. It's getting late," he said, as Jack nodded.

"Can youd read me a story, daddy?" The young boy asked, looking to him with his smile that almost never left his lips. Hotch chuckled and nodded.

"'Course I can buddy." Jack placed his toys aside as Hotch helped him wash his hair, rinsing the suds out. Once he they had finished and pulled the plug, Hotch wrapped a towel around his son and picked him up, carrying him to his bedroom.

"What pyjamas do you want to wear tonight, Jack?" Jack thought about it as Hotch dried him.

"Captain Merica ones," he told his dad firmly. Hotch chuckled, kissing him on the forehead. He got up and headed over to the chest of drawers, rummaging around inside and eventually finding the pyjamas Jack wanted to wear. He quickly helped his son get into his pyjamas, before tucking him into his bed and pressing another kiss to his forehead.

Jack handed him the story he had picked out, snuggling down into his bed and cuddling his green dragon to his chest. Hotch began the story, excitement behind his voice which made it more interesting for Jack. Not that it mattered, because the young boy had fallen asleep before his father even got past the third page. Hotch placed the book on the bedside table, pulling the covers up to his son's shoulders.

"Goodnight buddy," he said, his voice quiet, as he stood up and left the room. He shut the door most of the way, but left it open just a crack, in case he woke up.

Hotch didn't waste any time before he headed towards the door and picked up his briefcase, taking it to the kitchen and resting it on the counter. His breathing became a little erratic as he tried to calm himself down; nothing was working though. He grabbed the already used cup, filling it with water and putting it next to his briefcase. His hands were beginning to shake, but he forcibly made them stop. Well, at least for the most part.

Being careful, he opened his briefcase and moved some of the papers around, finding what he was looking for eventually. He pulled out a small, plastic bag that looked like it was full of powder. It shouldn't have been in his work case, but he had needed to buy some desperately. Hotch opened it before tipping it into the glass of water, trying not to spill any.

He hurriedly took the needle out of his bag too; dumping his briefcase on the ground. Hotch put the needle into the glass of water and Heroin, sucking the liquid into the needle. Once it was full, Hotch pressed the needle down, getting rid of any air that might have been trapped in it. He looked around and grabbed his tie from the back of the chair, before he headed into the front room.

Hotch settled himself on the couch, unbuttoning his shirt sleeve and rolling it up. He hummed a soothing tune as he tied the tie around his upper arm, using his teeth to help. Once it was tight enough, he got the needle and stuck it into his elbow, watch the liquid as it disappeared into his arm. Almost instantly, a smile graced his lips and he felt more relaxed than ever.

After fumbling around for a bit, Hotch managed to remove the tie from his bicep before dropping it to the floor; rolling his sleeve back down. He felt his arm drop to the couch, the needle rolling out of his hand. He didn't care anymore, he was happy. He placed his head against the back of the couch, the smile never leaving his lips as he drifted off into nothingness.

* * *

><p>Jack clutched his green dragon tightly to his chest as he leaves his bedroom. It was two AM and the youngster had had a nightmare. He sniffled, going into his father's bedroom. A frown, much resembling his father's, crossed his face when he realised he wasn't in his bed where he was supposed to be. Jack began to panic, tears filling his eyes again as he ran from the room and checked the bathroom, the kitchen and eventually the front room.<p>

A look of relief flooded Jack's face as he found his father's asleep on the couch. Jack clambered up onto the couch, shaking his father. When he doesn't wake up, Jack hits him with his green dragon several times. Sure enough, the boy began to panic. Tears stung his eyes again as he tried to find his dad's phone, knowing it would be somewhere on him.

It took Jack a few minutes to find it, but he was grateful when he did. He bit his lip and pressed the dial button, not sure who it would call. He sniffled, rubbing his eyes as he heard someone mutter something on the other end that sounded remotely like, "Damn it Aaron, it's two in the morning. Why are you calling me?"

Jack recognised the voice on the other end.

"Uncle Dave," Jack said, trying not to let it sound like he had been crying.

"Jack? What are you doing up at this time? Where's your father?"

"I thinked daddy's dead," he told him, suddenly bursting into tears. On the other end, he can't see it, but Rossi frowned.

"I'll be there soon Jack. Just stay with your daddy; I'm sure he's fine, just sleeping. Don't worry Jack, I promise he'll be fine."

Jack put the phone down as Rossi hung up, before he scrambled onto the couch.

"Please waked up daddy," he sobbed, curling up into a ball next to his father, holding the green dragon tighter to his chest than before.


	2. A sleeping beauty

**/ Here's the second chapter. I'm having so much fun writing this and surprisingly, it's giving me all sorts of ideas for my next fics and all. I'll probably get the third chapter up about Saturday. Anyway, enjoy the next chapter and let me know what you think, because reviews are always appreciated (: /**

Rossi muttered something under his breath as he forced the key in and opened the door. When he had left work that night, he hadn't expected to get a call from his friend's son, saying he thought his dad was dead. Rossi knew the chances of that were extremely slim, but it still worried a person. Once inside, he shut the door behind him and typed in the code to turn off the alarm.

After he had let his eyes get used to the darkness, he flicked the lights on, which caused him to squint slightly at the sudden burst of light. He should have known that, except it was two AM and his brain wasn't exactly in top working order. Rossi headed to the front room, frowning when he saw Jack cradling himself and his green dragon; his eyes red from his crying.

Rossi went over to the couch, bending down and placing his hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack threw himself at Rossi, wrapping his arms tightly around the older man. Rossi sighed, rubbing his back.

"Everything's going to be fine, Jack, your daddy is just a heavy sleeper," he explained to the young boy, who just nodded and wiped at his eyes. When Jack had finally calmed down, Rossi set him on the floor. "Go and clean your face in the bathroom, and I'll try to wake your daddy up," he said, which earned another nod from him. Jack stood and watched Rossi for a minute, before he ran off to the bathroom.

He took a deep breath and knelt down in front of the couch. A frown crossed Rossi's face as he knee hit something. He glanced to the floor, spotting what it was. However, it took a good few minutes for his brain to register what it actually was. Rossi let out a shaky breath, telling himself that he shouldn't jump to conclusions. He moved himself and sat on the couch next to Hotch. Being careful not to hurt him, Rossi pried his friend's eyes open, biting his lip as he saw that his pupils were constricted, despite the fact they should have been dilated. Rossi pulled his hands away as the man in front of him mumbled, shifting slightly.

'_At least he isn't dead' _is all Rossi thought as he pushed his friend's sleeves up. He pulled his arm out straight, seeing the track marks. He shakes his head, pulling his sleeve back down and fastening it up.

"Damn it, Aaron," he muttered as he stood up, turning to see Jack watching him. He's obviously fighting hard to stay awake and it tugs on Rossi's heartstrings. How could Aaron do this to his son? He wasn't going to judge his friend.

"Is daddy dead?" Jack whispered, looking to his father's friend. Rossi shook his head, bending down to the little boy's level.

"Your daddy isn't dead, he's just really, really ill," he explained, resting his hand on Jack's cheek. "Why don't you go and pack a bag, you and your daddy can stay at mine tonight," he said. Jack nodded as he chewed on the sleeve of his pyjama top.

"'Kay," he said, before disappearing off into his bedroom. Rossi stood up, rubbing the back of his head as he watched the sleeping Aaron Hotchner on the sofa.

"What have you gotten yourself into?" He asked, shaking his head, before he headed in the direction of Aaron's bedroom. There was no point in him waiting for Hotch to wake up – that wouldn't happen for awhile. Rossi glanced around, figuring he would probably keep his duffle bag under his bed. He's proven correct, dragging it out and chucking it onto the bed. Sometimes he was glad he was a profiler.

Rossi wasn't going to be selective about what he chucked into the bag; a few t-shirts, a few pairs of his jeans, a pair of shorts, a jumper, his boxers. Rossi stopped at Hotch's underwear drawer though, finding another pack of Heroin. He shook his head, putting it aside as he finished packing for him. Once he was done, he took the Heroin to the bathroom, tipping it down and flushing it. Aaron was probably going to be pissed at him for it, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to lose yet another friend to drugs.

He returned to the bedroom, grabbing the duffle bag and turning the light off. He headed to Jack's bedroom, putting Hotch's bag down outside as he went in to see if the boy needed any help. A smirk crossed Rossi's lips as he watched Jack stuff the last of his superhero action figures into his bag.

"What about your clothes, Jack?" Rossi asked, making the young boy jump. Jack frowned and looked to his bag, before looking back to Rossi.

"I don't needed clothes. I can stay in my jamas," he said, giving a forceful nod of his head. It didn't wipe the tired smile off the young boys face at all. Rossi just chuckled.

"Tell you what. Why don't we put some of your clothes in with your daddy's clothes, so then you can still take all your superhero toys," he said, looking over the boy as he contemplated the suggestion. Eventually, he nodded his head.

"'Kay," Jack said, nodding his head as if to reiterate that he agreed to do it.

"Are you going to help me pick some clothes out?" Jack doesn't have to be asked twice as he takes Rossi's hand and pulls him over to his drawers. The young boy goes through them, handing Rossi the clothes he wants to take with him; many of them involve some sort of superhero, except for one t-shirt that has a green dinosaur on it.

Rossi smiled, carrying the clothes to the duffle bag and putting them in. He watches Jack carefully as the boy heaves the bag onto his back and carries it out of the room, still clutching his green dragon.

"Go and stand by the door Jack, I have to go and pick your daddy up." Jack does as he's told, going as fast as he could without stumbling because of how heavy his bag was. Rossi followed him, holding the duffle bag on his shoulder, trying to keep Jack upright by placing his hand on the back of his head.

Once he reached the front room, Rossi hoisted Aaron up, one arm around his back and the other holding Aaron's arm around his neck. Rossi grunted, Hotch weighing more than he would like to carry. He pushed that to the back of his mind, before dragging him to the door. He opened it, letting Jack out. With great difficulty, Rossi managed to reset the alarm code, before leaving the apartment; the door falling shut behind them.

Jack looked to Rossi as he all but dragged his father to the elevator, walking alongside him.

"Canned I pushed the button?" He asked the older man, who nodded.

"Sure, Jack," he said, smiling as the youngster stood on his tip-toes, sticking his tongue out as he pressed the button. Jack yawned once he had done it, rocking back and forth on his toes, waiting to hear the ping as the doors open. Rather than the minute it took, it felt like an hour to Rossi, considering he was carrying all of Aaron's weight. He cursed at his friend in his head, getting him into the elevator with Jack.

Again, Jack pressed the button, watching as the doors closed. He giggled slightly as it started to move down. Subconsciously, Jack moved closer to Rossi, leaning against his leg. It was amazing how awake he could seem one minute, only to be on the verge of falling asleep the next.

"Stay awake just a little longer, Jack, then you can sleep in my truck," he said, only getting a nod from Jack. He didn't expect anything more from the little one. He was lucky that he hadn't fallen asleep too; now _that_ would have been a challenge. Once the door opened, the three of them left and headed to the parking lot where Rossi had parked his truck. "Just a moment more," he told Jack as he pulled the truck door open.

After some deal of effort, Rossi managed to get Hotch into his truck and strapped him in. He was going to give the man hell in the morning, he could be sure of that. He shut the door and he watched as Hotch slumped against it, drooling. Rossi just shook his head and chucked the duffle bag into the back, taking Jack's bag and putting it in the back too.

Jack stumbled slightly, yawning as he walked to the back of the truck. Rossi sighed and picked him up. Before he had even gotten to the driver's side, Jack had fallen asleep with his head on his shoulder. The corner of his lips turned into a smile as he climbed into the car, shutting the door behind him. As gently as he could, Rossi set Jack between himself and his father, before strapping him in. He strapped himself in too, before he drove them back to his cabin. This was one hell of a messy situation.

The journey back was always quicker than the journey there. Usually, it took Rossi about thirty minutes; the way back only took twenty. That said, it had just gone three in the morning, the roads weren't exactly heaving with traffic. Rossi wasn't going to deny it though, he was thankful for the lack of traffic.

Rossi watched father and son sleeping soundly for a few minutes, trying to wrap his head around things. It doesn't work. He shakes it off for now and unbuckled Jack, picking him up and getting out of the car, carrying the sleeping boy to his house.

Rossi unlocked the house door, only to be greeted by the barking of his dog, Mudgie.

"Shush, girl," he said, stroking the dog's head so she would stop with the barking. He's thankful when she does as he doesn't want Jack to wake up. He had put up with enough for one night. Rossi headed up the stairs to the closest bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot. He took the boy over to the bed and placed him on it. He slipped Jack's shoes off, being careful not to wake him, before bringing the covers up to Jack's shoulders.

He stepped away from the bed, only for Mudgie to bound over and lay down next to the bed, snuggling down. Rossi went to tell her to leave, before he looked to Jack. He knew that having someone – or something – to wake up to would be comforting for Jack, considering he probably wouldn't know where he was when he woke up. Rossi strokes Mudgie's stomach for a moment, before leaving the room, making sure the door was left open just a crack as he did so.

There was no time wasted as he went back to the car. Aaron was still leaning against the window, drool running down his chin. Despite the fact Rossi's annoyed with him, he just smirks. He pulled the car door open and unbuckled him, the man slumping against his friend.

Dragging him out as best and as careful as he hoisted his friend up, thankful he wasn't any older or he would have done his back in. He grunted as he carried him inside. He kicked the door shut behind him, taking the younger man over to the sofa and laying him down on it. Rossi removed Aaron's shoes, putting them next to the couch before headed to the kitchen.

Rossi rubbed his forehead before he filled a glass with water, pouring himself a small glass of scotch. He made a small note to himself to lock up his alcohol while Jack was there. He carried both back to his front room and placed them on the table, disappearing off up the stairs, only to come back down carrying a blanket. He placed it over Hotch before he picked up his glass of scotch and sat in the chair next to the couch. It was going to be a long night.


	3. Between you and I

**/ Well, here it is: chapter 3. I decided to upload it a day early because I'm well ahead of my schedule (having just finished writing up chapter 7) and Criminal Minds is on in thirty minutes, which has given me quite a bit of muse. So, enjoy the chapter. Reviws are appreciated :) /**

Hotch groaned, raising his hand to his forehead and just holding it. He shifted under the blanket, trying to get comfortable; it wasn't happening. He forced his eyes open, feeling like he had been hit around the head with a sledge hammer. He looked to his watch, noticing it was nearly seven in the morning. He had been asleep for longer than he would have liked.

After his eyes finally adjusted to his surroundings, his heart began to race as he didn't recognise where he was. His brain began to churn out the worst possible thoughts; that he had been kidnapped and his son was all alone, or worse yet, he had been taken too. Hotch sat up quickly – too quickly – making the room spin. He held his head in his hands, trying to force the pain away. He managed to focus his gaze on the table, specifically the glass of water. Right then, he didn't care if it was drugged or whatever, he just needed a drink.

His shaking hands wrapped around the glass and he brought it to his lips, gulping most of it town. He paused to catch his breath, before downing the rest of it, more than thankful that his throat wasn't dry anymore. He placed the glass back down, pulling the blanket off him and setting his feet firmly on the floor. Hotch pushed himself up, using the arm of the couch to help him.

Hotch frowned, stumbling slightly as he stood up. He muttered something under his breath, before hearing someone clear their throat, followed by a voice he recognised.

"Sit down, Aaron," Rossi said, being rather blunt. He wasn't in the mood for games and by the looks of it, neither was Aaron. The younger agent frowned, before doing as he was told and sitting back down. Neither of them said anything and neither of them looked each other in the eye. It was Hotch that eventually spoke first.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked, looking at his friend. He watched him as Rossi shrugged, taking a drink of his coffee.

"Oh, I don't know, Aaron. Maybe it has something to do with the fact your son called me at two this morning, crying his eyes out, thinking you were dead," he said, his eyebrow raised as he watched Hotch carefully. Hotch looked to his feet, tapping them against the floor as he tried to think of a reply.

"I'm just a heavy sleeper." Rossi snorted, shaking his head as he looked Aaron dead in the eyes.

"Is that so? However, I doubt that's why the needle you used was on the floor, where Jack could have gotten to it. Nor would it explain why I found track marks on your arm and better yet, why I found Heroin in your drawers," he said, examining the man for a reaction. Hotch just sinks further into the chair that he was sat on.

"What did you do with it?"

"I got rid of it," he told him, ignoring the fact that he had now clenched his fists.

"I needed that," he said sullenly, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to calm down. Hotch was never one to lose his temper often, despite the fact his friend had gotten rid of the only thing keeping him sane. If possible, he clenched his fists tighter as he listened to his friend laugh.

"You have a serious problem, Aaron, whether you want admit it or not. You need to sort your life out because if you don't, you're going to lose everything you've ever cared about." He paused. "If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for Jack. He deserves a dad – a proper one that isn't dependent on drugs," he said as Hotch turned his head away from him.

"I can't," he whispered, only just audible enough for Rossi. "They make me feel better, let me cope with everything – with work, Jack. I need them."

"What are you going to do to cope when you lose your job and Jack gets taken away because you're a jobless addict?" Hotch turned his head and glared at his friend.

"That would never happen and you know it," he spat. "And I'm not an addict," he said, folding his arms across his chest as he huffed, muttering things under his breath.

"I beg to differ, Aaron." He stopped and drank the rest of his coffee, before putting it on the table. "You're going to take the next few weeks off work. You can make up an excuse about Jack being ill, or I can pull some strings. Either way, I'm going to help you get over your addiction," he said in a matter-of-factly manner. Hotch just rolled his eyes as he stood up, stumbling a little over his own feet.

"I'm going home and taking Jack with me. I don't care what you think either, I'll deal with it on my own," he said, going to leave. Rossi blocked his path, however. "Move."

"If you try and leave, I'll force you into rehab where you can't be with Jack – or hurt him when you're high," he said. It wasn't Rossi's favourite method, but this was the kind of situation that needed some tough love. Hotch stopped dead in his tracks as his face dropped.

"You wouldn't dare," he said coldly.

"Try me." Aaron watched the man carefully, his eyes running over the man in front of him to check if he was being serious. After a minute, he sat back down and folded his arms across his chest. Rossi sat back down and sighed.

"How long have you been taking Heroin?"

Hotch thought about it, leaning back against the couch after he had shrugged.

"I can't remember. When I was in hospital, they gave me morphine to kill the pain. I liked it, not being able to feel much other than happiness. It was nice just being able to forget everything; forget that I might not have seen my son again," he said, looking at the ceiling the whole time. "Then they took me off it and reality hit me. I hated it. So I experimented; you know, with anti-depression pills, pot, meth. Nothing worked, so I turned to the thing that was closest to morphine. I don't usually shoot – I only do that when I'm stressed and need a quick fix," he explained, sighing. "So about nine months, maybe less."

To Hotch, explaining that had been a big deal. He had never told anyone about it. That said, nobody else knew about his _addiction_ and he was fine leaving it that way.

"You could have spoken to one of us Aaron. We're all here for you, no matter what," he said, just earning a shrug.

"I need to go home to get some clothes for Jack and I," he told his friend, working up the courage to look at him. He kind of hoped Rossi would let him; he still had some Heroin hidden around the place that obviously hadn't been found. Rossi shook his head.

"No need Aaron," he said, pointing to the bags by the door. "Clothes for both you and Jack are in the duffle bag. The other is full of Jack's toys – he seemed to think they were more important than his clothes," he explained, a smile gracing his lips for one of the first time since he had found out Hotch had been using. "As for the rules, well, you can do as you please within the house – except taking Heroin, obviously. If you want to go out, Jack and I _must_ go with you."

Hotch just rolled his eyes and watched his friend leave the room, probably to start breakfast. He sighed and pulled his legs to his chest, resting his head on them and just staring straight ahead into the unlit fire place. Something about it entranced him, helped him think. He had to find a way to get out of the house; he wasn't going to cope well with withdrawal. He didn't want to cope with it, he wanted to live in his perfect, drugged up little world.

It wasn't until Jack pounced on him, did he snap out of his trance.

"Daddy!" He said, a huge grin plastered across his face. He wrapped his arms around his father, snuggling in head into his chest.

"I'm sorry for last night, Jack. Daddy was just really tired and that's why I didn't wake up," he explained, brushing his son's hair out of the way. "I promise it won't ever happen again."

"Pinky promise?" Jack asked seriously, holding his little finger out. Hotch just smiled and wrapped his pinky around Jack's.

"Pinky promise." Jack placed his hands on his father's chest after he had picked up the remote from the couch and turned the TV on.

"We haved to watch cartoons, daddy," he informed, as he put his current favourite cartoon on; Iron Man. "Are wed staying with Uncle Dave for awhiled daddy?" The youngster questioned, his eyes never leaving the TV. Hotch bit his lip and nodded his head.

"Yeah we are, buddy. Daddy has a few problems that he needs help to sort out," he said, kissing him on the top of the head before they curled up on the couch and spent the next thirty minutes watching Jack's cartoons.


	4. Animal I have become

**/ Chapter four for you all. I wasn't going to post it until midweek, but I have exams all of this week, so I'm posting it now. It'll also be the last chapter until about Friday/Saturday. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are appreciated :)/**

It had been fourteen hours since Hotch had had his last fix of Heroin and things weren't running smoothly. Rossi hadn't expected it to be easy, but he hadn't expected it to be this hard either and he knew this was only the beginning. Hotch had started to show withdrawal symptoms about three hours after he had woken up, which only lead Rossi to believe he had been shooting at work.

Rossi was just thankful that Jack was easy to please and was sat in front of the TV watching his cartoons, with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some chips. Mudgie was also on the couch with him, her head resting on the youngsters lap. Rossi wasn't usually the type to let Mudgie on the furniture, but Jack needed someone, especially now that his father was going through withdrawal.

Hotch was huddled on the bed, curled up into the foetal position with his arms wrapped around his stomach and his eyes were clenched shut as he tried to will away the pain. Rossi sat on the edge of the bed next to him, watching as he shivered, despite the sweat that glistened in the sunlight and making his t-shirt cling to his body. Rossi sighed as he used a towel to wipe away the perspiration, before placing a cold flannel on his forehead in an attempt to keep him cool. He began to wonder whether this was actually the best thing for him. He cursed at himself. _Of course it's the best thing for him. It always got worse before it gets better._

A whimper escaped Hotch's lips as his stomach growled which caused him to clutch at his stomach even tighter. Within seconds, Hotch had scrambled off the bed and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Despite the fact he was in a lot of pain, the desire not to shit himself was greater. Rossi rubbed the back of his head and watched the door for a moment, before getting up and heading downstairs.

He frowned, hearing sniffles coming from the couch. Rossi bit his lip and went over as Jack wiped his eyes, his eyes red from his crying. Jack looked up to Rossi, before he looked away and placed his hand on Mudgie's head.

"Daddy's in pain," Jack whispered, his bottom lip wobbling again and the tears spilling from his eyes. Rossi bit his lip harshly, drawing a tiny bit of blood. Rossi turned the TV off before speaking to Jack.

"Jack, listen to me," he said, picking Jack up. He moved Mudgie's head and sat down, cradling the boy close to him, rubbing his back as he continued to cry. "Your daddy is in pain, but it's a good pain. It means he's getting better," he explained, continuing to rub the boys back. He hated seeing Jack cry.

"Pain never good," he said firmly, burying his head into the older man's chest. Mudgie yawned loudly, licking Jack's foot before placing her head back on Rossi's lap.

"That isn't true Jack. Your daddy has had a tough time recently because of that bad man," he said, watching as Jack nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Some things happened and that bad man is still hurting your daddy, even though he's dead." Rossi paused, Jack chewing on his t-shirt sleeve. "He'll be better before you know it. Maybe we should phone your aunt Jessica and ask her if you can stay with her until your daddy's better," he suggested.

After a moment's thought, Jack nodded his head.

"Yeah, 'kay," Jack said, resting his head on Rossi's shoulder as he stood up and grabbed the house phone. He dialled Jessica's number and waited for her to pick up.

"Jessica, it's me Dave," he said, hearing the confusion as she replied.

"Oh, right. Is something wrong?" Rossi wanted to nod his head, but he was more than anywhere he was carrying Jack.

"I guess. Aaron's ill and Jack's upset about it. We – Jack and I – were wondering if he could stay with you," he said as Jack added a quick,

"Please Aunt Jessca." Rossi headed up the stairs and into Jack's room, sitting himself on the bed and placing Jack next to him. The youngster promptly got off the bed and grabbed one of his action figures.

"Of course Jack can stay with me. I'll can be there in about forty-five minutes if that's fine?" Jessica asked. Rossi nodded, although he knew she couldn't see.

"Yeah, that sounds fine. See you soon, Jessica," Rossi said, putting the phone down. "Jack, why don't we pack up your toys and clothes and put them in your daddy's bag. That way, your daddy has something of yours to keep with him while he's ill, and it will be easier for your aunt." Jack nodded.

Rossi disappeared out of the room for a few minutes, returning with the empty duffle bag.

"Are you going to be a big boy and help me put everything in?" He asked, getting a furious nod of the head in return. Jack smiled, still sniffling, as he stood up and gathered all his clothes from his Captain America bag, dumping them into his father's bag.

"Can I leaved two toys out?" He asked, looking to Rossi and tilting his head innocently, offering a smile at though it would help him make his mind up. Rossi chuckled and nodded his head.

"Sure, go for it Jack. We can't have you being bored whilst watching all the cartoons you want, can we?" He asked as Jack shook his head, agreeing with Rossi. Packing took a little longer than Rossi had anticipated, considering it took Jack ten minutes to decide which two figures he wanted to keep out. Finally, he settled on Captain America and the Joker.

"Let's take the bag downstairs, then I'll put the TV back on for your and Mudgie," he said, picking the duffle bag up and taking it downstairs, Jack following him step by step, clutching his toys to his chest.

"Can I taked Mudgie to Aunt Jessca's, Uncle Dave?" Jack asked as he scrambled onto the couch, plonking himself down in the exact same spot he had been in before. He grinned as Mudgie pounced up onto the couch and laid down, her head resting on Jack's legs again. Rossi bit his lip.

"Maybe it's best that Mudgie stays here with your daddy and I? Mudgie can help me take care of your daddy," he said. He sighed when he saw Jack's bottom lip begin to wobble. "You can ask Jessica nicely if she can go with you, but if she says no, then she has to stay here with your daddy and I." Jack just nodded as Rossi turned the TV on, handing Jack the remote.

Rossi left the young boy and his dog to it, heading into the kitchen while he got the chance. He pulled open cupboard under the sink and moved things around, eventually pulling a bucket out. It would come in handy when Hotch started to throw up; Rossi just hoped he hadn't done that already. He took the time to grab some pain killers and some bottled water, putting them into the bucket before carrying it up the stairs.

As he got to the room, Hotch stumbled out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the bed. Rossi set the bucket and contents down next to the bed, before going over to Hotch and helping him over. Hotch mumbled a quick thanks, pulling himself under the covers. He held them close to his body, the sweat building on his face again.

"Aaron, you need to keep yourself cool. You're too hot," he said, pulling back the covers slightly. Hotch moaned and shook his head, mumbling something that sounded like no, but Rossi couldn't be sure. "Aaron, please, this is what's best," he said, placing his hand on his friend's back. "It's going to be alright."

Hotch just nodded, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Where's Jack?" He whispered, trying not to let the pain sound in his tone. It failed miserably.

"Downstairs watching cartoons with Mudgie. He's going to stay with Jessica until this is over; it's not something he should see at such a young age." Hotch nodded his head, leaning into his friend's legs, his teeth chattering. Hotch went to open his mouth and say something, only he was cut off by a knock at the door.

"I'll be back in a moment," he said as he stood up from the bed, causing Hotch to whimper slightly. "Oh, and if you need to be sick, use the bucket; I don't fancy cleaning up your vomit," he added, before he left the room and headed downstairs. Jack was looking over the back of the couch, just to see if it was his aunt.

"Hey Jessica," Dave said upon opening the door. Jack's face broke into a grin as he climbed off the couch and ran to her, jumping into her arms.

"Aunt Jessca!" Jack yelled loudly, wrapping his arms around her neck as the pair hugged.

"Hey Jack – David," she said, nodding at her brother-in-law's friend. "Are you coming to stay with me, Jack?" She asked, acting as though she didn't know. The boy nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Yeah, Aunt Jessca, I am. You maked the best pancakes in the whole entire world," he said, holding his arms out as wide as he can to show just how big the world was. Rossi smirked and watched as Jack contemplated how to ask her something. "Can Mudgie comed and stay with us?" He asked.

Mudgie, upon hearing her name, bounded towards the door; tail wagging madly as she saw Jessica. Jessica frowned and looked at the brown Labrador in front of her. After a few minutes, she finally decided on her answer.

"So long as it's ok with David," she said, as Rossi nodded.

"It's fine. The duffle bags full of Jack's things. I'll get Mudgie's now," he said, seeing Jack bounce happily. Once Jessica put him down, he hugged Mudgie and took her to his aunt's car. Jessica grabbed her nephew's duffle bag and took it to the car, putting it into the back along with Mudgie and Jack. She leant against the car, waiting for Rossi to return.

After what felt like a life time, he did, carrying a bag of Mudgie's food and a bag of her things: food and water dish, her lead, collar and a few treats and toys. She didn't need a lot – hopefully the pair wouldn't be there for long. Jessica opened the front passenger door and let Rossi put the things it, before shutting it.

"What's wrong with Aaron?" She asked, clearly concerned for his well being. Rossi bit his lip and rubbed the back of his head, looking back to the house for a few moments.

"He's just under a lot of stress recently and he has been since Foyet. He's just having a few problems," he explained, feeling Jessica's eyes scan her body. Rossi was glad that she wasn't a profiler because she would have been able to see right through his 'a few problems' line. After a moments silence, she nodded.

"I don't want to know the details – not that you would tell me – but I'll keep Jack for as long as I need to. Just make sure he gets better, because if he doesn't, you'll have Jack and I to answer to," she said, glancing to the boy in the back who was cuddling Mudgie.

"He will, I promise. He should be feeling better in about two weeks. Oh, and Mudgie needs walking and feeding twice a day," he explained as Jessica nodded.

"I'll ring you in a week to see how he's doing," Jessica said as Jack wound the window down and poked his head out.

"Uncle Dave, canned you give daddy this, so he can member me?" Jack asked, sticking his Captain America figure out the window. Rossi nodded.

"Sure buddy. He'll love it." Jack grinned and pulled his head back in as he put the window back up. Rossi stood in his drive way until the car was out of sight, before heading back in. He locked up, knowing he would be spending most of his time upstairs with Aaron. He checked everything was turned off, before heading up to his bedroom.

As soon as Rossi entered the room, he knew Aaron had been sick. The tell-tale sign was the fact the bottled water and the pain killers were about two metres from the bed. That and the fact the room stank of vomit. He noticed that the covers had been kicked to the floor and Hotch was no longer shivering. He was thankful for that.

He headed over to the bucket and picked it up, taking it to the bathroom. He filled it with water before tipping it down the toilet and flushing; repeating it once more before going back to Aaron. He had curled up into a ball, his head buried into the pillow as he tried to fight the pain he was inevitably feeling.

Rossi placed the bucket back by the side of the bed before he got on himself, lying down behind his friend.

"I'll be with you through every step, Aaron, I promise," he said, placing his hand on Hotch's upper arm and rubbing it reassuringly. What he didn't expect was for him to suddenly burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, using his arm to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this shit. I'm sorry for doing this to Jack. I'm sorry I touched the damn thing in the first place," he said, tears running down his face. A sigh escaped Rossi's lips as Aaron turned over and buried his head into his friend's chest. Never before in his life had he seen Hotch like this. It would be more painful for the both of them than Rossi had first imagined.

Still, he would much rather have this than to see Aaron lose everything in his life because of a stupid addiction. A frown crossed his forehead as he felt Hotch's hands clench at his t-shirt and doubly so when he heard his friend murmur something into his chest.

"Aaron, you're going to have to speak up, I can't hear you," he said bluntly. Aaron just raised his head to look him in the eyes.

"Get me just a little bit, please. I need it – t-to take away the pain," he stuttered. Not to his surprise, Rossi shook his head.

"Cold turkey, Aaron," he said softly. Hotch's demeanor didn't change as he pulled his fist back and punched him in the upper chest. Rossi's eyes widened as Hotch knocked the breath out of him. He tried to say something, but the words got caught in his throat as he tried to take in air.

Hotch just broke down further, the tears falling faster as he buried his head into Rossi's chest again. When he could manage it, Rossi wrapped his arms around the man in front of him. He was still concerned for his friend, no matter how much he hurt him.


	5. I need you

**/ Here's the fifth chapter to celebrate the end of exams and all that :D. It's one of my shorter chapters and I apologise for that. I kind of make up for it later though. Anyway, enjoy chapter five and have a great weekend. Reviews and comments are appreciated and loved. /**

Twenty-four hours. It had been twenty-four hours since Rossi had forced Hotch to go cold turkey and thirty-four hours since the man had had his last fix. It had been more than a rollercoaster ride; that was for sure. Rossi hadn't really had all that much sleep. He had tried, but Hotch was having some trouble sleeping – and staying still for that matter. Rossi had managed to get about an hour where Hotch wasn't tossing or turning.

It hurt him seeing Aaron in so much pain, begging for something that was slowly ruining his life. He had never seen his friend that angry or sad before. Not when he lost Haley, not when he was faced with the prospect of never seeing Jack again. It took Rossi hours to calm the man down and half that time was spent with him being punched repeatedly in the stomach and chest. He had been thankful when Aaron had accepted the pain killers instead, despite the fact they barely even touched the pain that ruled his body. It had been seven AM before he had fallen asleep.

Rossi had decided to get himself something to eat while he could. He would need it if Aaron was going to continue to disturb his sleep and punch the living daylights out of him. Usually he would have had some Sinatra playing in the background, but it just didn't seem to fit the atmosphere that overpowered the house.

He watched the frying pan intently as though it would do something to help the situation, waiting for the bacon to cook. He hadn't crispy bacon, so only allowed it to cook for a few minutes, before piling it onto a plate. He had cooked the whole pack of fourteen rashers – he was starving and he could take the rest up for Hotch. He needed to keep his strength up too, more so than he needed to. He did the same with the toast, spreading a thin coat of butter across each slice.

A smirk crossed across his lips as he put two bacon rashers onto a slice of toast and taking a bite out of it. It was heaven in his mouth – the only good thing he had experienced in the last couple of days. Rossi took his time eating it, savouring the taste as he carried the tray of toast and bacon upstairs. When he got to the bedroom, Aaron was still asleep, much to the relief of Rossi. He noticed that at some point since he had left him, he'd kicked off the shorts he had been wearing, leaving him in his t-shirt and boxers.

Rossi watched him for a moment, tossing and turning something chronic, before he put the food down and headed to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, turning the shower on and waiting for it to warm up. Rossi's showers were usually quick and finished within five minutes. Right now, he wanted the water to relax him and wash away the tension he was feeling. Hotch's withdrawal was aging him quicker than any of his ex-wives had done.

Once the water was warm, he removed his clothes and climbed in, letting the water hit his body. He closed his eyes and turned his face to it, giving him chance to just think. Rossi moved out of the water for a moment, wiping the water away from his eyes, before reaching for the shampoo. He squirted some onto his hands and massaged it into his hair before moving back under the flowing water. He still had no idea how this week was going to go and he knew full well Hotch would still crave Heroin once the withdrawal was over. That drug did more harm than good.

He turned the shower over and grabbed the towel from nearby, wrapping it around his waist. Rossi stepped out of the shower, thankful that the steam warmed the room up so it wasn't all that cold. Making sure he was quick, Rossi shaved himself; although he did a choppy job of it, knowing Aaron would be waking up sooner rather than later.

Rossi entered the bedroom again, seeing Hotch was still asleep; drool running down his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. A smirk played on Rossi's lips as he headed over to his drawers, pulling a pair of boxers out and quickly putting them on taking a few seconds to dump the towel in the wash basket.

He took the chance to look in the mirror, knowing his chest was battered and bruised. He winced, seeing it in the mirror. He had had worse – much worse – but this was from his friend; his _best_ friend. His fingers traced the several bruises, a sigh escaping from his mouth. What he did for his friends.

Hotch grunted, causing Rossi to turn to him. He pulled a t-shirt on quickly, followed by a pair of sweats just moments before Hotch woke up, forcing his eyes open.

"You alright?" Rossi asked him, his eyebrow rising as Hotch just shook his head.

"It hurts so much Dave, so much," he whispered, his hands shaking slightly. Rossi just nodded his head and went over to him, picking the bottle of water up off of the floor and handing it to Aaron. The younger man took the bottle eagerly, downing most of its contents. He handed back the almost empty bottle before forcing himself up off of the bed and stumbling into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Rossi takes the time to visit a different bathroom and fill the bottle back up. He grabbed another towel for when – _if _– Hotch started to sweat like a pig again. By the time he got back, Aaron had gotten himself back to the bed. He was sat with his back against the wooden headboard, his legs pulled into his chest. His teeth are chattering again and his body is visibly shaking: whether it was because he was cold or because he was in pain, Rossi couldn't be sure.

"Aaron, you need to eat," Rossi said, gesturing to the plate of bacon and toast beside him. Hotch just shook his head and closed his eyes tightly, his stomach rumbling loudly.

"I don't deserve it," he said, gripping his legs tighter than he had done before. Rossi just rolled his and grabbed the food, sticking some bacon rashers onto the toast and handing it to Aaron.

"Eat the damn thing and stop saying you don't deserve it, because you do. We all make mistakes. You need to keep your strength up too. Things are only going to get worse before they get better and you know it," he said. He could have put it nicely, but Rossi was more of the type to say something blunt and to the point, especially concerning something this serious.

Hotchner wanted to argue with him, to say something, but he could see there wouldn't be any point in it, so he took the sandwich that was being offered to him. He watched it for a moment, feeling Rossi's eyes bore into him. He muttered something under his breath before biting into it. He was thankful, feeling a bit more strength wash through him. He enjoyed it and had another two before he finds himself too full to have any more.

"Just rest Aaron," he said as Aaron did as he was told, lying down on the bed and burying his head into one of the pillows.

"I just want all of this to be over. I want the pain gone and I don't want to rely on drugs anymore; or you!" He said, the tears stinging his eyes before rolling down his cheeks. He buried his head into the pillow, wrapping his hands over his head as he tried to block at the pain. "No more," he sobbed, feeling Rossi's hand on his back.

Rossi just sighed and continued to rub his friend's back, soothing him as best he could.

"It will be over before you know it, Aaron, I promise."


	6. Never alone

**/ Again, this is one of my shorter chapters, but let's hope you still find it as interesting. I was going to post it when I finished typing up chapter nine, but I've recently contracted a virus (yayyyy *insert sarcasm here*) so it may be awhile until the next chapter, for which I apologise. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Comments and reviews are appreciated /**

Hour fifty-six. The peak of withdrawal is said to occur usually between forty-eight hours and seventy-two hours after the person's last fix. Rossi knew that was more than true. Rossi was struggling to keep himself awake. He was used to only having a few hours sleep here and there, but has he got older, he found himself unable to cope as well and that annoyed him. Especially considering he had only had six hours sleep in the last couple of days. It was beginning to affect him in more ways than he was willing to admit to.

Sat at the top of the bed with his back to the headboard with Aaron's head resting in his lap. He tossed and turned, the sweat having built up on his body again, causing his t-shirt and boxers to cling to his body. He whimpered and clenched his eyes shut tightly, the room too bright for his dilated pupils. Hotch thought he would have been used to the pain by now, but no, it was still as unbearable as ever and it only made his crave the Heroin more.

"Shh," Rossi whispered as he wiped away the sweat and pressed the cold flannel to his forehead. "Just a few more days, Aaron and this will all be over." Hotch just shook his head. He didn't want to wait a few days; he wanted it to all be over right now. He murmured something that Rossi didn't catch, tugging on his t-shirt. Rossi frowned; watching him for a few moments before it finally sank in.

Rossi wrapped his fingers around the t-shirt and pulled it off with the help of Aaron – or lack thereof, anyway. He sighed and dumped it on the floor, leaning back as he closed his eyes for a moment, telling himself that he couldn't fall asleep. Not now. Not until Aaron fell asleep first, and when he did, he was sleeping on the floor. He had thought about telling one of the team so that they could come and help, but he knew full well Aaron would have had his head off if he did so.

For the last ten or so hours, Aaron had begged him again and again to get him some Heroin. Again, he only asked for a little bit to take away the pain and that he needed it; he was dying without it. That the pain was too much for him to handle because he was too weak to put up with it and he would much rather be dead. Thankfully, he had seemed to calm down some within the last hour or so.

"Just a few more days," he repeated, running his finger over his friend's cheek.

* * *

><p><em>Being a profiler and all, the discreet transaction of drugs from the dealer to the buyer was one that was easily spotted. It was late in the evening and Hotch was sat on a park bench, tapping the dirt with his feet. He should have been heading home to his son, but he couldn't. Not yet. He needed to get himself some Heroin. He had told himself as a child that he would never turn to drugs because only the weak of mind did that. Now here he was, trying to take the edge off of his pain by illegal means. If Strauss or anybody found out about this, he would lose his job for sure. Even with that thought looming at the back of his mind, he was still determined to buy the thing.<em>

_Aaron took a deep breath and fiddled with the watch on his wrist before working up the courage to stand up and head over. He looked around, thankful that there wasn't really anyone else in the park other than the occasional jogger._

"_What do you sell?" He asked the man rather bluntly. The dealer was about thirty and his brown hair clung to his face; his eyes scanning Hotch._

"_Depends on who you are." That annoyed Hotch. He just wanted to get the damn drugs and get gone. He wanted to be back in that almost blissful state where he was happy for no reason. It wasn't for no reason, but he didn't see the drugs as his reason for being happy. A messed up sense of thinking, but he wasn't one to care anymore._

"_A man that needs drugs to stop himself feeling again," he said, not able to look at the man in the eyes. He was ashamed, but he needed it. The dealer's eyes scrutinised him even more, eventually nodding._

"_I have LSD, Coke and Heroin. Which do you want?" He questioned, slipping his hands into his back pockets._

"_Heroin," he said, pulling his wallet out. "How much?" The dealer pulled out a small bag, offering it to Aaron._

"_Seventy-five dollars," he said, watching as Hotch counted it out and handed the money over, getting the small bag in return. "You know, that stuff's highly addictive. If you only want to use it for a short time, I wouldn't suggest it." A drug dealer with morals, who would have thought it._

"_I don't need a talking to from you," he said, putting the Heroin into his wallet, before putting it back into his pocket. The young man frowned and gave him a card._

"_Call me if you ever need any more." Hotch just nodded as he looked at the card, putting it into his pocket. He turned around and headed away, thinking about the man. He didn't know that his name was Greg, but he would find out later, especially when he became his major dealer._

_Hotch was home before he knew it. He headed into Jack's room and pressed a kiss to the sleeping boy's forehead, before seeing Jessica out. He sat at the table afterwards, the lights turned down low. He bit his lip rather harshly, his fingers turning the bag. He wanted to do it, but the more sane side of his mind was telling him he shouldn't, that he had Jack to think about. He ignored it._

_Tipping the powder onto the table, he sorted it out like he had seen done in the movies. He was new to it, what would anyone else expect. Hotch felt like an idiot as he made sure the line was straight and then he frowned. He was still arguing with himself. He knew this was stupid. He knew that it could kill him, but not feeling was more important to him. More important than Jack? He didn't know, but it didn't stop him._

_Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down. He pressed one finger to his nose, before inhaling deeply. He jerked his head back, coughing and wiping at his nose as the powder shot inside. It wasn't working and that annoyed him. Well, it wasn't working for a few moments and then he felt its power hit him. A calm and blissful feeling washed over his body, causing a smile to spread on his lips._

_Quickly, Hotch snorted the rest, each time he pulled away. The feeling was weird and it annoyed him, but he felt nice. He felt happy, which is something he hadn't felt in a long time. That was his first time using and he's regretted it ever since._

* * *

><p>"Dave, make it go away, please," Hotch begged, tears stinging his eyes. They didn't fall this time though. "End it. I-I want you to look after Jack for me. He deserves so much better than me." He paused, clenching his eyes even tighter as the tears finally began again. "Haley shouldn't have died. I should have! She was more of a parent to Jack than I'll ever be. She wouldn't have turned to drugs. I'm weak and shouldn't be a father to Jack. I shouldn't be the unit chief," he sobbed, holding Rossi's hand in his tightly. "I don't want to be alone anymore."<p>

Rossi sighed and pressed a kiss to his friend's forehead.

"You never were."


	7. Something I said

**/ Chapter 7 is here, mainly to celebrate I have officially finished college except for my final two exams which are next month. I wasn't going to upload it until tomorrow because that should be my last day, but the lecturer is at a wedding, so all's good :D. Enjoy this chapter; comments and reviews are appreciated :) /**

The past week had been the longest week in Hotch's life – and Rossi's, for that matter. Aaron was just thankful that most of his withdrawal symptoms had gone. It felt like he had travelled to hell and back, several times over. He took a deep breath and forced his tired eyes open, staring at the ceiling. He glanced to the clock quickly. Twelve hours. He had been asleep for twelve hours and he still felt the worse for wear. He was drained; physically, emotionally and mentally.

Hotch forced himself to sit up, releasing a shaky breath. His muscles were screaming blue murder. He stood up, swaying slightly as he gave himself time to steady his balance. Rossi was still asleep in the bed and the bruises over his chest were darker. He winced and reminded himself to apologise to Dave for the abuse he had given him since everything had begun.

Eventually, he willed his legs to move, he made his way to the bathroom, despite the fact they were still in an incredible amount of pain and felt relatively weak compared to how they used to be. Hotch had intended to go back to bed as soon as he relieved himself, but he found he was much more interested in examining what his withdrawal had done to him.

His eyes looked like they had been rubbed red raw and the tears hadn't really helped. He kicked himself now for the whole crying thing; it embarrassed him. The whole thing embarrassed him full stop. He knew he should never have turned to drugs, but the past was the past and there was nothing that he could do to change it. Aaron ran his hand over his stubble as he looked at himself in the mirror. He never realised how much the stubble aged him. He looked like he was in his late fifties, not his early forties. It suited some people, but not him. He hated it.

Aaron took a deep breath as he ran his fingers down the scratches on his face, received after he had tried to leave the room and got into a fight with Rossi. All for Heroin. He closed his eyes as he thought about the drug, his muscles tensing as his brain told him that he needed it. He hated that he was addicted. He hated that he still craved the thing. His fingers gripped the sink tightly, his mind filtering through things to try and distract him from wanting it. Nothing was working.

"Aaron, is everything alright?" Rossi asked, watching Aaron carefully. Aaron just shook his head, his hands shaking as he turned himself around. He made sure to keep hold of the sink, still not trusting his legs enough to keep him up. He locked eyes with his friend.

"I-I still want Heroin. I still feel like I need it, like I want it. I know that once I go back home with Jack, I'll just fall into it again," he said, looking away from his friend. He couldn't bear to look at him, feeling like he lacked the self control in his life. Rossi just nodded his head, approaching his friend. He placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Listen to me, Aaron," he said, making him look at him. "Everything's going to be alright. I was there for you for the worst bit and I'm not going to let you go through the rest of it alone," he explained, offering him a supportive smile. Hotch nods, thankful for a friend in his time of need.

"Can you," he said, pausing. "Can you help me back to bed? I don't think I can make it," he explained, finally telling himself that he can let Rossi know how he was feeling and that he didn't need to keep it to himself. Rossi smirked and helped him back to the bed.

"I'll make you something to eat," he told him as Hotch clambered onto the bed, lying down and close his eyes. A yawn escaped his lips as he nodded.

"Sounds good," he whispered, too exhausted to say much more. He finally drifted to sleep and for the first time in a long time, he dreamt of nothing.

Rossi doesn't voice it, but he's concerned for his friend. At least they're through the worst of it. It wouldn't surprise Rossi if they had to go through it again soon, but for now, that was a distant thought. He took the next couple of hours to look after himself, as well as do a bit of tidying up around the house. It had been neglected recently.

He headed downstairs, deciding on his way that he was going to have scrambled eggs and ketchup for breakfast. As for what he would make Aaron; that would depend on what he could rustle up. The cupboards and fridge were lacking in food. He made a mental note to take Aaron shopping with him when he felt up to it within the next couple of days.

Breakfast ended quickly, making Rossi realise just how hungry he had actually been. It hadn't exactly been the first thing on his mind. He opened the cupboards, finding a few tins of chicken soup. That would have to do. He put them on the side next to the microwave; he would put it on when Hotch woke up. No point in giving it to him now, only for it to end up cold.

Rossi stood at the sink, slowly washing the dishes. He had a dish washer, but washing the dishes helped him think; whether it was for his most recent book or something else. After awhile, a smile appeared on the older man's lips as he thought of something to take Aaron's mind off everything. He would prepare everything later when Aaron had been fed and the house was clean.

Making his way back upstairs, he took the time to check in on Aaron, thankful to see he was still asleep, albeit muttering things under his breath. It just made Rossi smirk. He went over to the bed and picked up all the dirty clothes from around it. They were mainly Hotch's from the last week after he'd gotten too hot or the clothes had gotten too wet.

He didn't mean to, but he ended up listening to his friend's mutterings for a bit, sighing as he realised that they were about Heroin.

"Everything's going to be fine," he whispered, using his spare hand to push Hotch's hair out of his face. The sleeping man just smiled, pulling the covers close.

"Dave," he mumbled, the smile remaining. Rossi bit his lip, ignoring the fact that his best friend had just whispered his name. He held the dirty clothes tighter to him before he left the room; planning to get everything ready for the following day.


	8. Into the nothing

**/ Usually I don't upload chapters so quickly, but I only have one more chapter to write until I finish off this story, which makes me kind of sad. I must apologise for referring to Mudgie as a she, as I only found out he was a, well, he last Saturday I believe, which is why Mudgie is now referred to as he xD. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, as it is one of my longer ones; the longest I've written for this one I believe. Reviews and comments are appreciated :)/**

Rossi washed the used dishes whilst Aaron ate his third – yes, third – breakfast that morning. Ever since he had gotten up, food had been the only thing on his mind. Of course, Rossi was more than happy to fill his friend's demands: a fry up with mushrooms, bacon, sausages, tomatoes, eggs and fried bread, followed by scrambled eggs on toast with tomato ketchup, which had eventually been followed by a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. Thankfully though, it seemed Aaron was full.

Hotchner leant back in his chair, his hand resting on his stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out an almost sigh of relief.

"That was the best meal I've had in a long time," he said, rubbing his stomach as it felt like it was about to explode.

"I should hope so. It's cleaned me out," Rossi said with a smirk. It was the truth for the most part, except for the food he had put aside for their day out. He made a mental note to stop off at the shops on the way back. He would probably forget by the time they left, but that wasn't the point. For a moment, everything's quiet, until Hotch cleared his throat.

"I err, I'm sorry," he said, managing to look his friend in the eye. "About the abuse I gave you, I mean. I didn't mean any of it, I was just, well, you know," he added quickly, rubbing the back of his head. Rossi smirked and just shook his head.

"Don't be. It's not like I expected anything less. Plus, you're going to make up for it today," he said, cleaning the rest of the kitchen as Aaron sat there, too full to even think about moving just yet. Aaron frowned.

"What do you mean I'll be making up for it today? You're not going to punch me back are you?" He asked, a smirk crossing his lips slightly. Rossi just chuckled and shook his head.

"Nothing like that," he said, turning to face him. "We're going to get out of the house for a bit; probably the night. I want to take you away from civilisation, away from the temptations that you're feeling." He paused, seeing Hotch going to interrupt. "Please don't say you're not, because you are."

Hotch rolled his eyes, before eventually looking at his feet, tapping them against the floor for awhile, trying to think of a way to word his reply.

"I don't feel up to it today. My legs are still weak – in fact, everything is still weak – and everything hurts," he said, sighing. He doesn't look up as Rossi smirked and shook his head.

"We're going either way Aaron. It will do you good to get away from everything and remember what life was like before all of this," he said. Hotch shrugged.

"I remember what it was like before. I was nothing more than a single, workaholic father that hardly ever spent time with his son." Now it was Rossi's turn to roll his eyes.

"Aaron, you were simply cleaning up the streets for Jack, as you like to put it, to make sure he was safe. As for being single, you were just waiting for the right person to make your life complete," he corrected, leaning against the kitchen counter as he watched him carefully.

"Stop profiling me, Dave. Who the hell would love a Heroin addict, anyway?" He asked, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

'_Me.'_

"The right person is out there, you just need to find them," he said. Hotch didn't say anything but nodded his head instead. He stood up and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Once he was sure he could walk properly, he made his way to the stairs, making his way carefully up them.

"Wear something outdoorsy, Aaron," Rossi yelled, taking a cloth to wipe the kitchen counters now he had finished cooking for Aaron. He had dressed for their little 'trip' that morning, wearing his more comfortable pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a jumper and his boots. He took the time to sort everything out while his friend got dressed.

He reached over to the CD player that he kept in the kitchen and turned it on. A smile spread across his lips as the sound of Sinatra filled the kitchen. He was determined that their trip was going to be a good one. He had prepared most of the things the night before, he just needed to chuck it all into a bag and get it out to the truck.

Rossi hummed along to the song, carefully packing the canned food into the camping rucksack, followed by some matches and cutlery. All of these rested on the top of three sleeping bags; mainly to keep the matches from getting wet. He had taken the time to grab a change of clothes for Aaron too, while he had been sleeping. He pulled the cord, closing the top before pulling the 'lid' over the top and fastening it. He glanced to the stairs, making sure Aaron wasn't coming back down, before he grabbed a small tent from the cupboard under the stairs.

Making sure he had everything, he heaved the bag over the back and tucked the tent under his arm before taking them both to the truck. He stood there for a moment, racking his brain as he tried to remember if he had forgotten anything. Rossi shook his head and headed back inside, a smile crossing his lips as he noticed Hotch making his way down the stairs; he had changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He just stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for his friend to make his way to the bottom.

"You alright?" Rossi asked, wanting to make sure. Hotch nodded.

"Fine," he said, managing to offer a half hearted smile. Rossi noticed the man bite his lip, thinking something. He had an idea as to what it was though. He knew his friend too well.

"Need any help getting to the car?" He question, earning a shake of the head from his friend, no matter how reluctant it obviously was.

"No, I think I can make it. I just... maybe it would be nice if you were by my side, just in case," he said. Rossi didn't need to think twice.

"If it's what you want." The pair made their way to the car, very little conversation made between them. Hotch took steady steps like a baby would, first learning to walk. That's what it felt like to him. His muscles were stronger than they had been yesterday, but that wasn't the point. He was really struggling to walk and Rossi planned on taking him somewhere for the day. He couldn't see it going very well, but then again, he had been really pessimistic recently.

Hotch was glad when they were finally at the car; it meant he could sit down. He clambered into the car and rolled the window down. It was August and it was really warm, despite the fact it had only just gone eight in the morning.

"I'll be back in a minute. Need to grab a few things and lock up," he said, heading back into the house. He grabbed his backpack that had been near the door and made his way into the kitchen. He pulled the fridge open and chucked in some sandwiches, as well as a few bottles of cold water. They would be doing a lot of walking and they would all need it. He checked everything was turned off and finally locked up, before going back to the truck.

Rossi dumped his backpack in the back before climbing into the driver's seat.

"I need to make a quick stop on the way," he told Hotch, starting the engine and pulling out of his drive way. Hotch didn't say anything, just nodded. He rested his head against the window, just watching everything fly by in a blur. Everything was quiet and it began to get to him.

"Where are we going?" Hotch asked him eventually, not turning his head away from the window though. He suddenly felt tired. Journeys always did that to him unless he was the one driving. Rossi shrugged.

"You'll find out when we get there," he said, using a phrase he would usually use for a child that continuously kept asking where they were going. Hotch rolled his eyes and leant over, fiddling with the radio and putting it on. He smiled, eventually finding a station currently playing the Beatles, before settling back into the original position of staring out of the window.

A frown eventually crossed his face as he realised which part of town they were in.

"I thought we were getting away from civilisation?" He asked, lifting his head from the window and looking about. He saw Rossi nod.

"We are, but I told you. I need to make a quick stop on the way and you probably know what that stop is, but still," he said, shrugging as he pulled up outside the familiar house. He glanced to Hotch, seeing how nervous he was.

"I don't want him to see me like this, Dave," he told him, clearly worried. Rossi just smirked.

"Aaron, he's your son and he misses you. There's nothing you can do wrong in that little boys eyes and you're his hero. Weak or not," he said, getting out of the truck before another word could be said. In the car, Hotch sank even further into his seat, trying to ignore the fact that his son would now be joining them on their trip. He watched as Rossi spoke with Jessica at the door and Jack stood next to him, Mudgie running around the yard. It seemed the dog was coming too.

"We'll be back about dinnertime tomorrow. I think Jack will be coming back to mine though," Rossi told Jessica who nodded.

"Aaron's better then?" She asked. Rossi turned to look at him and gave her a so-so hand.

"He's getting there; just a little weak," he said. Jessica nodded.

"Well Jack, I'll see you soon, alright?" She said, bending down to his level and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Have fun with Dave and your daddy," she added, waving them goodbye. Jack waved back to Jessica, before holding Rossi's hand and following him to the truck.

"It's goinged to be so fun," Jack told Rossi as they made their way to the truck. "Doesed daddy know where we're going?" He asked as Rossi shook his head.

"I want to keep it a surprise for him, so remember to be quiet," he whispered, putting his finger to his lips and making a shushing noise. Jack repeated him and giggled. Rossi took Jack's backpack and put in the back with everything else. He pulled the back of the truck down, earning a bark from Mudgie as he jumped into the back, his tail wagging. He licked Rossi's face quickly, before lying down and resting his head on his paws.

He put the back of the truck back up and went to the driver's side with Jack, helping him in.

"Daddy!" He yelled happily, climbing over to him and wrapping his arms around him. Hotch smiled and hugged him back, kissing the top of his head.

"Hey buddy," he said, brushing his hair out of his face. "I hope you've been good for Aunt Jessica." Jack nodded his head vigorously.

"I haved daddy," he said with a smile, sitting down next Hotch. "Are youed feeling better, daddy?"

"Yeah, I am buddy. Just a little weak." Jack nodded and held his hand as Rossi strapped him in.

"I promise to be'd there for you daddy," Jack said firmly, smiling as Rossi got into the truck and began to drive, making their way out of town. Hotch smiled for the rest of the trip, listening to Jack telling him about his week. About how he had played with Mudgie nearly all week and how Jessica had taken him swimming and they had been for a picnic and Jessica had bought him some pizza and ice cream. It made Hotch happy, knowing his son had had fun and hadn't missed him too badly.

The three of them arrived at a small parking lot at the side of the road about an hour after picking Jack up. It wasn't even a proper parking lot; just a few posts for designated parking places and the rest was gravel. Hotch kind of wondered how the hell Rossi even knew about this place. On second thoughts, maybe he didn't. Surrounding the make shift parking lot were many hills and forests; Hotch had an idea of what they were going to be doing.

Rossi pulled into it and turned off the engine, getting out of the car. He would let Jack get out with his father while he got the things ready. Mudgie jumped out of the truck, circling it and barking happily, glad to be with the people he loved; that being Rossi and Jack. Hotch was only someone he saw occasionally. Dave pulled the camping rucksack onto his back, fastening it over his chest, before grabbing the tent and Jack's backpack.

In the time he had done that, Jack and Hotch had gotten out of the truck, although Hotch was leaning against it, trying to mentally prepare himself for what they were going to do. Rossi passed Jack his backpack and he put it on happily, with a quick thank you. Then he handed the tent to Hotch.

"Thanks," he muttered, shaking his head. Rossi just smirked.

"Cheer up. You're supposed to enjoy yourself today," he said firmly. Hotch just rolled his eyes and nodded, putting on a half hearted smile as they headed into the forest. Jack and Mudgie went ahead of them and Rossi walked with Hotch at his pace. Occasionally, he had to shout to stop Jack and Mudgie going too far in front. It was about an hour before Hotch began to physically struggle with the hike.

"Want to stop for a bit?" He asked, as Hotch nodded. They walked another few metres before they stopped, finding a fallen tree trunk. Hotch panted and sat down on it, rubbing his legs. "Jack, come and get a drink," Rossi said, pulling a bottle of water from the rucksack. Jack happily came over and took the bottle, having several gulps from it. Rossi did too, before he handed it to Hotch who practically drank the remains of it.

Hotch rubbed his forehead, eventually managing to catch his breath. It was only then that he realised just how unfit the Heroin had actually made him. Jack chucked several sticks for Mudgie by the time Hotch felt he was ready to continue.

"Dave, I was wondering... could you help me the rest of the way?" He asked quietly, biting his lip as his friend nodded.

"Of course I can," he said with a smile, wrapping his arm around his back; Aaron placing his arm over his friend's shoulder, much like the night Rossi had found him completely passed out after his high. Jack looks back, worried about his father, but he smiles anyway and continues to walk with Mudgie.

All three of them are smiling by the time they reached a clearing at the top of a hill, giving an amazing view of the surrounding landscape.

"So pretty," Jack told them standing by their side as they looked around for a few minutes. Hotch nodded in agreement.

"I think it's exactly what I need," he admitted to them both, a slight smile on his lips. Dave smirked and they headed into the field, although only by a few metres. With Hotch struggling to walk, Rossi wasn't going to risk anything by going so far in Hotch couldn't make it to the forest when he needed the toilet.

"Jack, why don't you leave your bag here with us and go and play with Mudgie? I have some toys for him, like his Frisbee," he told him, seeing the smile grow on the youngster's lips.

"'Kay," he said, dropping his bag quickly. He waited almost impatiently for Rossi to get the Frisbee out. Once Jack had it, he ran into the middle of the field with Mudgie and began to chuck it for him, laughing loudly; he was one happy little boy.

"How long do you think we'll be staying here for?" Hotch asked curiously, lowering himself to the floor carefully. Rossi shrugged.

"Just for the night, more than likely. I have enough food for a few days if you decide you want us to stay here for a few days," he explained, taking the tent and beginning to set it up. Hotch went to get up push himself up and help him, only to be cut short. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Helping you?" He said, a confused look on his face.

"Stay sitting down, I can do this by myself. You need to rest," he replied bluntly. Within ten minutes, Rossi had set the tent up and rolled out the three sleeping bags. He made sure he put the backpacks near the back of the tent so that they wouldn't get wet if it were to rain.

"Do we have anything we can eat now? I'm starving," Hotch complained, milking his resting period all he could. Rossi smirked and nodded.

"Yeah, I made some sandwiches before we left," he said, grabbing Hotch's sandwich and chucking it to him. It was Hotch's favourite; cheese and salad. "Jack, come and get your sandwich," he called. The youngster was sweating like made as he came back over with Mudgie, a grin on his lips.

"Thanks," father and son said at the same time, both tucking into their sandwiches. Jack's were just plain ham though; mainly because Rossi had a feeling that he would sneakily feed some of it to Mudgie. The three sat in silence, finishing off their lunch. Well, it was almost silent. Jack whispered to Mudgie and told him not to tell Dave he was having some. It didn't stop Dave from smirking.

"I'll be back in a minute; I need to get some firewood," he mused, standing up and leaving the father and son alone. Jack bit his lip and picked at the grass, silence between them.

"Are you alright, Jack?" Hotch asked his son, a little worried for him. Jack nodded his little head and looked to him.

"Are you still in pain, daddy?" Hotch sighed and shook his head.

"Come here, buddy," he said gently. Jack did as he was told and crawled over to him, sitting on his father's lap. "I'm fine now, I promise. I just feel weak because I was really ill before. I'm still the same old daddy though and you'll never have to hear me like that again," he said, kissing the young boy on the top of the head. The two continued to have their heart to heart, eventually leading to them both laughing.

Rossi enjoyed seeing them both happy. That was all that mattered to Rossi. If they were happy, then he was happy. He didn't spend long collecting the firewood and he was thankful that it hadn't rained recently, so all of it was dry anyway. He took it back to their small camp and a smirk crossed his lips, seeing Hotch up and about, playing with Jack, Mudgie and the Frisbee. Things were finally looking up.

He took the chance to get the fire going on a small dirt patch near where they had pitched their tent. He made sure to put rocks around it to stop it spreading. Always be prepared; he was glad he had gone to boy scouts when he was a young child. Once it was going, he sat back and watched the pair play. After about ten minutes, he laid back down against the ground, watching the clouds float on by.

Hotch smirked as he made Rossi jump, sitting down next to him. Jack was still playing with Mudgie. The boy had more energy than the pair of them had combined.

"It's a good job he has Mudgie," Hotch said, lying down next to him. Rossi nodded with a smile.

"It is. I'm glad he's happy. I'm glad you're feeling better too," he said, the pair of them going quiet after that. Hotch felt content and happy about everything. Getting away had been just what he needed.

"Why did you turn to Heroin?" Rossi asked eventually, bored of the silence. He had made sure Jack was still away off from them, albeit sat down and stroking Mudgie's stomach. Hotch shrugged and began to fiddle with his fingers.

"The night Foyet attacked me, it kind of pushed me towards the edge, you know? Then with Haley's murder and the nightmares of Foyet... I just fell," he explained to him, closing his eyes. "What Foyet did to me that night; it just made me wish I was dead. It still does, but I know I have to be there for Jack. I was struggling with the reminders of the night and the memories, I just couldn't cope. The Heroin helped," he explained. He didn't turn to look at Rossi. He couldn't, so he didn't see the frown that had crossed his friend's features.

"Aaron, scars reminds us where we've been. They don't dictate where we're going," he said, causing Hotch to laugh and shake his head.

"It's not the scars, I can handle them. Sure, I don't like them and they make me uncomfortable, but I can definitely handle them," he whispered, biting his lip harshly. "What he did... I've never told anyone about it. I couldn't." Rossi's frown deepened and he turned his head to face his friend.

"Then what is it?" He asked, knowing his friend wasn't alright. He also knew talking about it would be painful, but it would also help him get over everything. Well, it would help him on the road to recovery anyway. He watched as Hotch clenched his fists tightly and close his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"He raped me," he whispered, a tear rolling down the side of his face.

**AN: The next chapter _will_ contain a rather detailed account of the rape, so some of you may want to skip over that chapter. Just thought I would warn you all :)**


	9. Dance with the devil

**/ Three chapters in three days. I wasn't going to upload this today, but I just _had _to considering I finished writing the series today; I just need to finish uploading them. I want to thank all of those that have reviewed and commented; it means a lot. Just another quick warning; this scene goes into Hotch's rape in quite some detail, so you may want to skip over it. I hope you enjoy it (if that's the right word). Comments and reviews are appreciated :) /**

Hotch didn't bother to open his eyes to look at his frowned. If he had done, he would see a look of complete and utter rage on his face. He would have seen the older man reach out to take his hand into his and he wouldn't have flinched.

"Sorry," Rossi whispered, before taking wrapping his hand firmly around Hotchner's. Hotch just shook his head, another tear managing to escape, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. He quickly raised his spare arm and wiped them away, forcing them open.

"It's alright, Aaron. It's alright," he told him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Hotch went to say something, but he was quickly cut off by Rossi. "You don't have to tell me anything else if you don't want to, Aaron." Hotch just shrugged and shook his head.

"I want to. I don't want to keep it inside anymore. It hurts too much," he whispered. He lifted his head up slightly and made sure that Jack was still with Mudgie, before he began to tell Rossi what had happened that night.

* * *

><p><em>A wince crossed Hotch's face as the knife slid into his abdomen for a third time, only causing the blood to pool around him even more. Foyet chuckled sadistically, straddling his chest, twirling the knife within his hands, almost teasing the man in front of him.<em>

"_Profilers think that stabbing is a substitution for the act of sex. That if someone is impotent, they'll use a knife instead. Is that what you think, Agent Hotchner? Maybe this will make you think again," he said, a smirk crossing the man's lips as he leant forward, his fingers running down the man's shirt. Hotch looked confused, the lack of blood and his concussion made everything seem incoherent._

"_W-what?" He asked, a frown crossing his forehead. It finally began to sink into Hotch's mind when he heard the sound of a zipper being lowered slowly, mockingly. __**His**__ zipper. Hotch turned his head away from the man in front of him. If he had been watching him, he would have seen the smirk on his lips._

_Hotch took a deep breath and let it out shakily, trying to ignore the pain in his chest._

'_Just stick to your guns and everything will be fine. Don't show him fear, because it's all he wants from you. It's all he wants,' he told himself, trying to calm himself down. He didn't exhibit any obvious signs that suggested he was nervous, but it felt like his insides had fallen through his stomach. No matter what he told himself though, he knew that his thinking pattern would be totally reversed and he hated himself for it. _

_Hotch clenched his eyes shut tightly as Foyet slipped his hand into his pants and began to palm him through his boxers. His breathing became more erratic as he tried to control it; tried and failed. Foyet leaned across his chest, causing Hotch to wince and shift awkwardly under him; only causing more pain._

_A shudder ran down his spine as Foyet's breath tickled his ear and neck._

"_How does it feel being so helpless, Agent Hotchner?" He whispered, mocking him as he continued to palm him through his boxers. "I'm going to make you mine." Foyet nipped at his ear lobe which was followed by a flick of his tongue, a smirk on his lips. Foyet moved back and watched him carefully, before removing Aaron's shaft from his boxers. He smirked and wrapped his hand firmly around it, stroking it a few times._

"_My my, Agent Hotchner, I never would have thought you were __**this**__ well endowed," he said, giving a nod of his head as though he approved of him. "Very impressive."_ _Hotch forced his eyes open and looked to him, glaring. He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't, afraid that anything he said would sound desperate and he didn't want Foyet to know he felt like that. George chuckled, tapping Aaron's face._

"_Does is feel good, Aaron, being turned on by a man?" He questioned, continuing to stroke his manhood firmly. "Not just any man either. The man you have fought so hard to catch – and failed to do so. The man who decides whether or not you get to live or die." He paused. "Is that why your wife left you, Agent Hotchner? Because you get turned on by men?" When Hotch didn't answer, Foyet squeezed his shaft tightly, causing him to groan in pain and try to pull away, despite the fact it hurt to do so._

_George being George took immense pleasure in the pain he was causing Aaron, so continued to stroke him. The smirk never left his lips as he watched Hotch squirm in pain and pleasure, trying not to move his hips in time with Foyet's strokes. He was struggling though and it only made George happier. This continued for about ten minutes until Hotch began to leak pre-cum, making it easier for George to move his hand._

_Knowing he didn't have much time until his toy passed out, Foyet moved quickly, positioning himself between Hotchner's legs, forcing his legs under his ass so he was lifted off the ground. Hotch didn't do much except groan weakly. He smirked and wrapped Hotch's legs around his waist, running his hands up the inside of his thighs, teasing the man in front of him._

"_You ready for me, Agent Hotchner?" He questioned, moving his hands to his own pants, unbuckling the belt and forcing them down which were quickly followed by his boxers. Foyet smirked, grinding himself against Hotch's ass; letting him know exactly just how hard he was._

_Foyet placed his hands flat on Aaron's chest, before his fingers began to trace their way down to his navel and back up again, caressing him through the material of his shirt. Hotch frowns, despite the fact he felt extremely light headed. He went to say something, only for his eyes to widen in pain as Foyet bury two of his fingers into the wounds he had created. The cry of pain caught in Hotch's throat, coming out as nothing more than a gasp; the tears stung his eyes but they didn't fall. He refused to let them._

_The smirk played on Foyet's lips as he twisted his fingers inside of him, causing as much pain as he possibly could towards Hotch. Once his fingers were wet enough – at least by his standards – he pulled them out and used the blood mixed with Hotch's pre-cum to lube up his own shaft. He wasn't going to prepare Aaron; where would the fun be in that?_

_He grunted slightly as he stroked himself a few times, making sure he had enough pre-cum and blood so that he didn't end up hurting himself when he started on him. Foyet repeated his earlier actions of caressing his chest through the material of his shirt. He used his left hand to position himself, before pushing against Hotch's ass and forcing his way inside. He took his time but not for the sake of Hotch, but for the sake of him not wanting to hurt himself any further._

_Hotch writhed weakly under him, the pain causing tears to stream down his cheeks. His hands gripped Foyet's arms tightly, the skin around where he was holding went white. By the time Foyet was all the way in, Hotch's hands were shaking madly and he had ran out of tears. He had never felt so full in his life and he never wanted to experience it again. Foyet chuckled once he was fully in and leaned forward._

"_How does it feel, Agent Hotchner, to be so full of __**cock**__, knowing there's nothing you can do about it?" He asked, whispering it into his ear. He doesn't wait for an answer though. He gripped Hotch's hips tightly in his hands and pulled most of the way out before thrusting back into him. He didn't get much of a response; a whimper that was only just barely audible. He was too weak to do much more._

_Eventually, Foyet managed to get a rhythm going, his fingers digging into Hotch's skin as he continually pulled out and thrust back into him. _

"_You're so damn tight," he grunted. Although there was a look of concentration on his face, it did nothing to wipe away the smirk. "You have no idea how good you're making me feel right now. So close to becoming my little play thing. Do you like that thought, Agent Hotchner?" He asked mockingly, laughing sadistically. "After tonight, after this, you'll never be able to forget me, even when I'm long gone. You'll never be able to forget that I was the one who took your virginity."_

_Aaron just looked away as the man leaned forward, continuing to move in and out of him at speed, only helped by the blood that was now coming from his ass. Foyet's lips hovered above Aaron's, still smirking as he brought his hand up and slowly sunk the knife into the man's chest again, groaning contentedly as the man's muscles clenched around his shaft._

"_That's it, Hotchner," he said to him, sinking the knife into him a further four times; each time the muscles clenched around his shaft. It took a matter of minutes before he felt the familiar feeling building up in his stomach. He thrust in harder than he had done before, managing a few more before his body stiffened and he shot his load into Hotch. Hotch had felt so full when Foyet had entered him originally but now that was nothing compared to this._

_During his climax, Foyet sunk the knife into him one more time; twisting it before he pulled it out. Within a matter of seconds, Aaron passed out, much to his relief._

* * *

><p>Throughout the entire time he spent explaining things, Hotch never turned his head to look at Rossi. He just continued to stare into the sky, watching the clouds float on by. They were blurred from his tears though. No matter how upset he felt about reliving it all, he felt better because a great weight had been lifted off of his chest. With his spare hand, Hotch wiped away his tears.<p>

Only then did he realise how hard he had been holding his friend's hand, and so he let go. Rossi rubbed it for a moment before looking to him.

"Aaron, it's going to be alright," he said, offering him a smile. Not a happy smile; just one that said he would always be there for him, no matter what anyone did to him.


	10. Kiss and tell

**/ Chapter ten is finally here! Again, I would like to thank all of those that have reviewed and commented :) I hope you enjoy this chapter; reviews and comments are appreciated :)/**

The day had passed relatively quickly and quietly after Hotch told Rossi about what had actually happened to him the night Foyet broke into his apartment and kidnapped him. Overhead, the stars are shining. Jack had fallen asleep a few hours ago inside of the ten, cuddling into his green dragon that he had brought with him. The fire outside is still burning still, but it's dying and the pair would probably still be awake long after it had died.

Without saying a word to the other, they get into their sleeping bags inside of the tent; Rossi, Hotch and then Jack asleep next to his father. Mudgie forced his way into the tent, snuggling down at Aaron's feet. Rossi closed his eyes, listening to Hotch toss and turn while he tried to get comfortable; it took him awhile too. He heard him mutter something, but couldn't quiet catch it, causing him to frown.

"Aaron, you'll need to speak up a little," he said to him, making sure he wasn't _too_ loud, as to not wake Jack up. He didn't see it, but Hotch bit his lip.

"I was wondering," he said, trailing off slightly as he tried to find the right words to explain what he was trying to say. "Say I liked another man and I saw the possibility of us having a serious relationship, would that make me gay?" He asked, continuing to stare at the roof of the tent. He knew the answer, but he wanted confirmation so that he didn't feel so bad about it.

"Do you still like women? Would you like a serious relationship with a woman if you found the right one?" Rossi questioned, turning his head to look at his friend, who nodded.

"Yeah, I would," he said.

"Then no, that would make you bisexual," he explained, resting his hands on his chest. "There's nothing wrong with exploring when it comes to the same sex, Aaron. It's natural to be curious; human nature." Hotch just nodded again, his eyes never moving from the roof of the tent. He could feel Rossi's eyes narrow and watch him carefully. The awkward silence resumed its place for awhile before Hotch decided to continue.

"How do you approach them then? I mean, if you don't know they feel the same way about you. It's not really the same as asking a woman out on a date. I don't even know if he likes men," he said, speaking much too quickly and he scolded himself for doing so. Rossi just chuckled.

"You should just ask him. It's amazing what just asking can do," he said, moving his hands behind his head. "There's that, or you could just kiss him. No harm, no foul. He might even like it," he added.

He closed his eyes again as Hotch sat up, listening intently to the sounds outside the tent; owls, the snapping of branches, the leaves rustling as the wind blew them. It reminded Hotch he was away from everything, just out in the wilderness.

"Have you ever had any experiences with men? Relationships or whatever." The older man shrugged, thinking through his answer.

"I've had a few serious ones that have lasted more than four months," he explained. "Most of them were just one night stands or casual flings." Hotch raised an eyebrow and laid back down. He was now curious about what it was like to be with a man; in a relationship. He turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow.

"Is it any different being with a man than it is with a woman?" Hotch asked, rubbing the back of his head as though he had asked some sort of forbidden question. A smirk just passed across Rossi's lips, thinking about his answer.

"There's less complaining and fighting with a man because of all the similar things, but other than that, it's really the same as being in a relationship with a woman," he said, shrugging. Hotch just nodded his head and began to fiddle with his watch, watching as his friend's chest rose and fell steadily. He wasn't asleep, just relaxed, which is the way Hotch wished he felt at that very moment.

"You know, an unasked question is the most futile thing in the world," Rossi said to him, opening one eye to look at his friend although he didn't turn to face him. Hotch rolled his eyes.

"I- Do you think the person I have a crush on would date me?" He asked, biting his lip. "Dating me if he knew about my Heroin addiction, or that I was... you know, or that I wouldn't want to have sex with him for awhile," he said, nervous about the answer Rossi was about to give him.

Rossi frowned and opened his eyes before he turned his head to look at him.

"That would entirely depend on the person. He isn't worth it if he says no." Hotch just nodded and lies back down, pulling the sleeping bag close to him.

"Night, Dave," he whispered, closing his eyes. Rossi raised his eyebrow, curious himself as to exactly who Hotch was talking about. He turned to face him, shivering slightly as he realised just how cold it was.

"Who is it you're interested in, Aaron?" He asked him, wanting to know. Hotch shrugged, keeping his eyes closed.

"It's no one special, just Morgan," he said, now opening his eyes to look at Rossi. The older man's face dropped and he went to say something until he saw the smirk on Hotch's face.

"You're a bastard, Aaron," he snapped, closing his eyes tightly as he pulled his sleeping back against his chest, ignoring his friend as he laughed. Hotch just shook his head and watched him, the smirk never leaving his face. He bit his lip and remained watching him for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage.

Eventually after several minutes, he forced himself to lean over and he placed a tentative kiss on the older man's lips. Much to his surprise, Rossi placed his hand on Aaron's cheek and kissed him back, which caused Aaron to smile against his lips.

"How long have you felt this way?" Rossi asked him when they broke away from each other. Hotch bit his lip and shrugged, resting his head on his friend's chest as he looked him in the eye.

"Awhile, I guess. At least three years," he said, fighting a yawn. "I had a crush on you when we first met, but I was with Haley and I didn't know if you liked men or not. That and I wasn't entirely sure I liked men. I mean, I found you physically attractive and everything, I was just confused," he explained, biting his lip. "In mine and Haley's last year together before the divorce, Haley thought I had had an affair with someone. In fact, she was convinced," he admitted.

Rossi raised his eyebrow curiously.

"With who?"

"JJ," he said with a slight smirk. "Before you ask, no, I didn't have an affair with her. I'm not that type of person." Rossi just nodded his head softly, fighting a yawn. "I'm glad she didn't find out about my crush on you though."

"Why?" The older man asked curiously with a frown; which only earned a shrug from Hotch. He had been doing a lot of that recently.

"Haley was more of a conservative type of person, especially when it came to the bedroom," he said, biting his lip. "I still loved her though. I loved her so much, Dave," he whispered. Rossi nodded his head.

"I know you did, Aaron. We all know it," he said, resting a hand on Aaron's cheek. "You don't have to worry about any of that anymore, I promise." He smiled and pulled Hotch towards him, pressing a soft and tender kiss to his lips. "I will always be there for my friends – my boyfriend," he said, stroking his cheek. A tiny smile broke onto Hotch's lips, before he yawned. "Sleep."

"Hmm," Hotch said and lies down, his head resting on Rossi's chest. The older man wrapped his arm around his boyfriend and closed his eyes; both of them eventually joining Jack in a peaceful sleep.


	11. Lapsing

**/ Here's chapter 11. I do agree that Hotch was out of character in the last chapter, but that said, Jack was never initially going with them. Either way, I hope he's more in character this chapter :D. Again, thanks for all the comments and reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter; comments and reviews are appreciated :) /**

Three months had passed since Hotch had been forced to quit Heroin, cold turkey. It had also been three months since he and Rossi had kind of phased from being just good friends, to being partners, lovers, boyfriends. As for how far their relationship had progressed, it hadn't gotten past a kiss. Then again, Rossi didn't mind; he was moving at Hotch's pace and if all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, then he was happy with it. Rossi wasn't as big of a player as the rumours made out to be.

Both of them were happy, and so was Jack. On the first of each month, the three of them went out somewhere to celebrate. The youngster knew no difference and just thought it was an outing, but it wasn't to Hotch or Rossi. To Hotch and Rossi, it meant another month of success, another milestone reached.

Hotch still had cravings for it; hell, he had even tried to go out and buy some. Rossi had managed to stop him though, even if he had meant smashing the window of the car to grab the keys from the engine. He could afford to replace it, so he hadn't been all that bothered. The trip to the hospital to get the glass out of his hand had annoyed him though and he had ignored Aaron for the rest of the night. Childish and he knew it, but he didn't care.

After that little incident, Rossi had decided Hotch needed some counselling. Aaron had protested but he still ended up going and he wouldn't lie; they helped him a lot. He had been able to get everything off his chest; everything about his father and Haley and Foyet and everything else that plagued him. He had felt much better for it.

He would have felt comfortable with telling Dave everything he had told the psychiatrist, but he didn't want to burden him with anything else after he had helped him. As well as the counselling, Hotch had been learning to condition his want of Heroin with pain. It kind of worked.

Eventually though, they had to get back to work and Hotch had taken it in his stride. When the team had asked about him snapping an elastic band against his wrists, he had just said he wanted to stop himself from biting his nails. It had worked; he didn't know if they believed him, but it had gotten them off of his back.

They had been on their most recent case for just over a week and it had been a particularly stressful one; especially for Hotch and JJ. It had involved children between the ages of three and seven being kidnapped, beaten and eventually strangled to death. The team had managed to catch the UnSub, but not until a twelfth victim had been claimed.

Rossi knew from the amount of times that Hotch had snapped the elastic band against; he had been craving the drug more now than ever. He watched Hotch carefully as the team packed away everything from the case into boxes, worried about him. He wanted to take him outside for a word, but it wasn't the time. Hotch wanted – needed – to call his son, to make sure he was alright.

Usually, they would have headed straight home, but none of them felt up to it. Instead, they all headed back to the hotel and would go back to Virginia in the morning.

"I'll see you in the room, I just need to call Jack," he said, as Rossi nodded.

"Take your time, I'll leave the light on for you," he said with a worried smile, before he left him to it and headed up to their room. Hotch remained in the lobby of the hotel with JJ until he disappeared from sight, and then he took himself outside. He bit his lip as he pulled his phone out and dialled Jessica's number. He didn't care that it was nearly one in the morning; he just wanted to talk to his son.

"Hello?" Jessica answered in the fifth ring, obviously only having just woken up.

"Jessica, can you wake Jack up for me? I know it's late, but I really need to speak to him," he said, the worry laced his voice. Jessica didn't say anything; she knew all too well that Aaron wouldn't call unless he needed to.

"Daddy?" Jack asked, yawning on the other end of the phone. A smile crowned Hotch's lips when he heard his son's voice.

"Hey buddy, I'm sorry to wake you up," he said, holding the phone with both hands as though it meant he could hold Jack closer to him.

"It's okayed, daddy," he said. "Are you alrighted?" Hotch nodded his head.

"I'm great little man, even better now I've heard your voice. What about you, Jack?"

"I'm gooded too, daddy. I've beened practicing soccer with Aunt Jessca for tomorrow," he said happily. Hotch grinned.

"That's great, Jack. Remember what we practiced last week with Uncle Dave," he told him and smiled as he heard the young boy yawn again on the other head. "Go back to bed, little man. Good luck for tomorrow," he said, as Jack nodded.

"Goodnighted daddy," he whispered, putting the phone down.

"Goodnight buddy," Hotch said to the now dead phone, before he locked the phone and slipped it into his pocket. He turned to look at the lobby, seeing JJ was still on the phone; probably talking to Will. He bit his lip and took the chance to slip off. He would say he was clearing his head if JJ saw him. Thankfully, she didn't.

Hotch slipped his hands into his pocket and lowered his head, letting his feet carry him without really thinking about where he was headed. He was only outside for five minutes before he shivered and thought about heading back to the hotel, only to see two people on a street corner. His eyebrow raised when he saw the transition of drugs. He didn't care what the man was selling; he just decided that he needed some there and then.

Glancing around, he headed over to the pair. The one who had bought the drugs made his exit quickly, but the drug dealer didn't. He had had all sorts of people approach him and considering Hotch hadn't ran at him, yelling, the dealer decided he wasn't going to arrest him and wanted to buy.

The dealer is no older than twenty-five, but even still, Hotch feels inferior to him; like being a drug dealer made him better than being a drug user.

"Are you selling?" Hotch asked eventually, looking away from him as the dealer ran his eyes over him, eventually giving a nod of his head. "What about Heroin? Do you sell that?" Again, the dealer nodded his head.

"Yeah, I have both liquid form and powder, depending on which want you want," he said, putting his hands into his pockets. Hotch didn't have to think about the answer. He needed to use it before he got back to the hotel and it only left him with one option.

"I want the liquid form," he said.

"Seventy-five dollars for just the bottle, one hundred dollars if you want a needle too," he said, pulling the bottle from his pocket, which contained about fifty millilitres of Heroin.

"Is the needle clean?" The dealer just rolled his eyes and nodded.

"I don't operate some dodgy dealings. If I did, I wouldn't have a business," he said bluntly, pulling the needle out too. Hotch took his wallet out and got out the hundred dollars, shoving it into the man's hands before taking his Heroin and the needle.

"Thanks," he said, leaving quickly before either of them could say another word. Hotch's hands were shaking as he made his way back to the hotel, thankful when he came across an alley. He looked down to make sure it was empty before he slipped into it. He didn't waste any time as he unbuttoned his shirt sleeve and pushed it up above his bicep. He removed his tie and with help from his teeth, tied it tightly around his bicep.

He bit his lip, putting the needle into the bottle being careful not to spill any as he filled it up with the Heroin. Once it's full, he pushes on the needle to make sure there aren't any air bubbles left in it. Hotch glanced around once more to make sure no one was watching before he injected himself.

A gasp escaped his lips as his senses heightened, happiness flooding his body. Everything was suddenly made better and there was nothing wrong with the world; at least in his eyes. It would wear off soon, but he didn't care. He chucked the bottle into the nearest trashcan before he dropped the needle to the floor and stamped on it. He still cared if someone found it. He bent down and picked up the remains of the needle and chucked it into the trash with the bottle.

Being as quick as he possibly could, he removed the tie from his arm and fixed it back around his neck. He lowered his sleeve and fastened it, making his way back to the hotel. By the time he got there, JJ had gone and the lobby was empty apart from the night manager. He nodded his hello to him and disappeared off up the stairs, using his card key to enter the room.

He smiled when he saw Rossi on the bed in a t-shirt and his boxers, reading a book. Hotch had no desire to find out what book it was though. He squinted slightly and turned off the light, before he removed his tie and shirt, folding them up neatly and setting them inside of his go bag.

"How's Jack?" He asked as he glanced over the top of the book to him. He frowned and set the book down on the bedside table. Hotch just nodded and kicked his shoes off, followed by his shoes, socks and trousers; the latter of which he folded up and put in his go bag with everything else.

"Yeah, he's good. Excited for his soccer match tomorrow," he said, climbing into bed with Rossi.

"Why did you turn the light off?" He asked, before turning the bedside lamp on. Hotch shrugged.

"It was too bright," he explained as he squinted again, smiling none the less. Rossi raised an eyebrow as he noticed that he was sweating. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead; he didn't have a temperature.

"Aaron, are you feeling okay?" Hotch just smiled and nodded his head.

"Yeah, I feel fine – happy, even – and everything's perfect," he said and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was then that Rossi realised.

"You've used again, Aaron. Damn it, I thought we were getting somewhere," he said, a little angry with him. It wasn't his fault that he craved the damn drug, but he still couldn't help but feel let down by him. Hotch shook his head.

"I haven't used again, I promise," he said innocently, before smiling a slightly goofy smile which was followed by a yawn.

"Did you inject or snort it?" He demanded as Hotch shrugged, having to think about his answer.

"Injecting it was easier," he whispered. It took him awhile to realise he had slipped up, but he didn't care. He just closed his eyes and snuggled into the pillow, falling asleep moments later. Rossi sighed and ran a hand across his goatee as he tried to calm himself down.

"Oh, Aaron," he sighed, bending forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I promise I'll be there for you," he said, brushing the hair out of his face, before turning the light off before lying down. He wrapped his arm around Aaron before he fell asleep too.

* * *

><p>Rossi refused to talk at Aaron as they got dressed. He didn't utter a word, no matter how many times Hotch tried to explain why he did it or apologise.<p>

"Dave, please! I've said I'm sorry, what more do you want? You're being childish," he said, folding his arms across his chest. Rossi laughed sarcastically, turning around to face him.

"How do you feel, Aaron, knowing you're going to have to go through hell and back again without seeing Jack for another two weeks? What about how you're going to miss his next soccer match and won't be able to coach his team because you'll be going through withdrawal?" He asked, shaking his head. "Even better, what about when you miss work again which is going to make people suspicious? The team will find out about your little problem at some point. In fact, I'm even thinking about telling them myself."

Hotch glared at him.

"What good will it do with you telling them anyway?" He asked as he clenched his fists.

"Because they can help you quit and leave the damned drug behind that's ruing your life – all of our lives!" Hotch shook his head and began to sulk, much like he had accused Rossi of a few minutes ago.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" He huffed. Rossi looked to him and raised his eyebrow. He grabbed his face with both of his hands and forced him to look at him.

"Why do I care? I care because I love you, Aaron. I love you more than anything in the world and it would devastate me to lose you to drugs," he whispered. "As for Jack, he would hate you for the rest of his life." Hotch sighed and nodded his head, looking to his feet. Rossi bit his lip and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder this time, for all of us," he said. Rossi gave him a half hearted smile.

"If you ever crave it again, just come to me. I can help you – it's what I'm here for," he told him, placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. Together, they headed to the airport to get their jet back home.

* * *

><p>Rossi hoped that Hotch wouldn't start showing withdrawal symptoms until they were home, but he knew a flight from Oregon back to Virginia wasn't the shortest trip in the world. It was off to a good start, at least for the first thirty minutes, anyway.<p>

"Dave, it's starting again," Hotch mumbled, as Rossi nodded, going to ask him what was wrong, but Hotch cut him off. "I-I feel sick and I'm cold and my hands are shaking," he said, showing him. Rossi nodded and looked around.

"Go and lie down on the couch, I'll be with you in a moment," he told him as he stood up and headed to the back of the plane. Hotch did as he was told and went to the couch, clutching his stomach as he laid down. He didn't open his eyes as Rossi came back a few minutes later with a bucket that he had gotten from a store cabinet.

The team watched the pair curiously as Rossi put the bucket on the floor next to Hotch's head before he sat on the floor himself. Rossi bit his lip and put his hand on Aaron's, sighing slightly. It was nine in the morning; nine hours since his last fix of Heroin and his symptoms were coming on quicker and stronger than they had done the first time.

It was roughly ten minutes before Hotch began to throw up, holding the bucket close to the couch as the pain began to worm its way back into his joints – his entire body, for that matter. The following hour passed quickly enough. Hotch had managed to wear himself out with his throwing up and whimpering in pain, so he had fallen asleep. It's obvious the team are concerned, but didn't have the nerve to voice it while Hotch had still been awake.

"What's wrong with him, man?" Morgan asked, glancing over the back of his chair to watch the pair. Rossi opened his mouth, but Reid beat him to it.

"Hotch is suffering from withdrawal and if I have to hazard a guess, I would say it's Heroin," the genius explained, running a hand through his hair. None of the team knew about his own Heroin withdrawal, and if they did, none of them had mentioned him. The team looked to Rossi, as if to ask him if it was true. Rossi just nodded, knowing he didn't need words to explain anything.

"Why did he turn to drugs though?" JJ question, concerned for their boss. Rossi glanced to him and then shook his head.

"It's not my right to tell you, but it was thanks to Foyet," he said. Everyone understood how much that man had affected Hotch. He might not have shown it openly, but they all knew; Rossi more so than the others.

"How long has he been doing Heroin?"

"Just over a year," he said in response to Emily's question. "It's just a lapse though and he hasn't touched the stuff for about three months. At least, not until last night." Emily frowned.

"How do you know?"

"Jack called me a few months ago in the early hours of the morning. He couldn't wake Aaron up; he had passed out from one of his highs. I've been helping him through his withdrawal and he's been staying with me for about the same," he explained. Rossi left out the details of their relationship though; he wasn't ready for people to know, and he doubted that Aaron was either.

They all shared a look.

"We'll be there for him – for both of you, throughout the entire thing," Morgan said, everyone else nodding in agreement. "It shouldn't be too hard for us to keep it from Strauss," he added.

"Thanks," Hotch mumbled, bringing a smirk to Rossi's lips. It just proved he had been awake the entire time, listening to them discuss his addiction.


	12. Damned if I do ya

**/ Here's chapter twelve; the penultimate chapter. I'm kind of sad that it's coming to an end, but I have enjoyed writing it. These last two chapters are basically Hotch/Rossi smut with some tie ins to Hotch's addiction. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Comments and reviews are appreciated :)/**

Aaron Hotchner had been clean of Heroin for over six months. The last time he had taken it had been on the case where the entire team had found out. It had embarrassed the hell out of him, but he had been thankful. It had given him the willpower to quit. Well, he had had willpower before, but now on cases he had four other people to watch out for him apart from Rossi.

It had been hard and that was something Hotch wouldn't deny. There had been several times where he had nearly lapsed again. The first time, he had brought it home when Jack had been at kindergarten and Rossi had been at work. He had it all lined up and had been about to snort it when Rossi had returned home and stopped him. Hotch had sulked until Jack had come home, complaining that he had spent seventy-five dollars on it. He had been thankful in the end, though. The only other memorable time had been when he had taken Jack to the park while Rossi had had a meeting with his agent. He had nearly bought some and had been in the middle of handing the money over, until Jack asked if all three of them could go for some pizza and ice cream and if he was good, maybe they could get him a new action figure. A smile had crossed Hotch's lips and he had agreed.

There were still times when Hotch craved it, but they were weaker now. He was proud of himself, now that he was finally beating the thing that had made him feel better, but had made his life hell. He smiled, his head resting on his lover's chest as he watched him fill out the crossword he was currently working on. He could remember the first time he had watched Rossi fill it in and he had asked him why he did it. His answer had been that it helped calm him down and relax him before he went to sleep. Hotch hadn't pushed it any further and it had become sort of a nightly ritual with Hotch resting his head on his chest, sometimes helping him, but mostly watching him.

That day at work had been a particularly stressful one. Strauss had been talking about cutting some members from the team again to save on money. To Rossi, it was obvious that something was bugging the younger man as he traced shapes on his chest and stomach.

Ten minutes of silence passed before Rossi set his crossword book and pen on the bedside table and looked to his boyfriend.

"Aaron, what's wrong?" He asked, concerned that he had lapsed again or something. Hotch just shrugged, which was quickly followed by a sigh.

"I can't stop thinking about Heroin. I'm stressed and nothing has worked to stop me thinking about it," he explained, biting his lip as he went back to drawing shapes on Rossi's chest. Over the last six months, they had found several things that helped distract Hotch when he thought about using again. Working out, cooking, playing soccer with Jack and taking Mudgie on a walk with Rossi and Jack were a few.

"I've done them all and it's not helped." He wasn't afraid to admit these things to Rossi anymore. He had let his walls down and he hadn't been given a reason to build them back up either. When it came to others though, his walls were still there, only not as thick anymore. He was thankful to have a team – a family – like that; the way they assured him that they were there for him. Not so much with words, but with their little gestures; asking him how he was, bringing him coffee, saying that a few of them were going to see a film and he was welcome to go with them.

Rossi nodded his head and ran his hand through Aaron's hair, a smile on his lips.

"Do you trust me, Aaron?" He asked. Aaron looked to him and gave a firm nod of his head.

"With my life," he said, suddenly raising his eyebrow. "Why? What do you have in mind?" Rossi didn't answer him, but lowered his head and placed a soft, tender kiss onto his lips.

"Lie on your back," he whispered, his lips hovering above Aaron's. Hotch took a deep breath and did as he was told, watching his lover extremely carefully. He knew where this was going and secretly, he was excited about it; nervous, but excited. He wanted to give something back to Dave for everything that he had done for him and for how patient he had been with him. Before then, they still hadn't progressed past kissing. It made his insides flip as he realised they were going to that night.

Hotch tried to control his breathing, as though he was trying to prove he wasn't nervous. Rossi just smiled and placed his hand on his cheek.

"It's alright if you're nervous, Aaron. I was my first time, but you get used to it," he whispered, seeing Hotch open his mouth to say something; to mention Foyet. Rossi was quick to cut him off though and pressed a hard kiss to his mouth.

"This _is_ your first time, no matter what that _monster_ did to you," he said bluntly, earning a nod from Hotch. The pair smiled and Rossi pressed his mouth to his boyfriend's lips again. They were a few seconds into it when Rossi's tongue probed at Hotch's lip, almost begging for entrance. Without reluctance, Hotch let him in, both of them tasting the others for the very first time.

He moaned into Rossi's mouth, moving his hands to his friend's hair and curled it into his fingers. Rossi smirked and ran his hands down the man's chest, resting them at the bottom. Eventually, the pair broke away, both of them panting.

"You taste good... nice," he whispered, a smile on his lips as Hotch blushed slightly.

"You taste good, too," he reiterated, despite the fact that he didn't really have another male to compare him with. He didn't really care, either. Thinking about it though, he couldn't remember what Haley had tasted like, at least not clearly. He knew that he preferred the taste of Dave.

Rossi leaned in again, pressed a kiss to Hotch's jaw line. He kissed him up to his ear and back down again before he moved to his neck. Hotch shuddered, the older man's beard tickling him. He didn't say anything though; he kind of liked it. Rossi smirked, before he pulled away and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you mind if we remove your t-shirt?" He asked softly as Hotch shook his head. Together, they removed it and chucked it to the floor. Hotch shifted his body uncomfortably, not all that happy about revealing his scars to Rossi. He wanted to get over his fear though; he needed to get over his fear so that he could get on with his life.

Rossi moved his kisses from the man's neck to his collarbone. He noticed the look on Hotch's face, but he chose to ignore it, hoping that he would be able to make him comfortable. He began to kiss down the man's chest, a frown crossing his forehead as he felt Aaron tense up as he got to his scars.

Placing his head on Aaron's chest, he sighed and looked him in the eyes.

"Relax," he said softly, his fingers drawing shapes above Aaron's heart, although their eyes never moved from the others. "I love your scars, Aaron. It shows you, me and everyone else that you fought with the Reaper and you won; that he doesn't control your life anymore and never will again," he told him as he pressed another kiss to the man's chest.

He continued once he felt Aaron relax, pressing more kisses to his chest and stomach. Rossi licked his way back up Aaron's chest while his fingers paid special attention to his scars, caressing them slowly and gently. Without warning, he closed his mouth on Aaron's right nipple. He smirked, hearing the gasp that escaped the younger man's lips. Rossi flicked the nub with his tongue, causing Aaron to jerk his chest upwards.

Moving his hand from the scars, he tweaked the man's other nipple; still sucking and nipping the other. Rossi smirked as Hotch writhed and squirmed under him, occasionally whimpering in pleasure. To Dave, it's obvious that his boyfriend hadn't been touched by anybody other than himself – minus Foyet – since he and Haley had split up. He made sure to pay each of the man's nipples an equal amount of attention, before he moved up and pressed a passionate kiss on his lips.

Hotch smiled against his lips, happy and thankful that he had someone like Dave to make him feel loved again. Teasingly, he licked back down Hotch's chest, dipping his tongue into his navel on the way down. He chuckled slightly as Hotch jerked. Rossi looked him the way, his head resting on his lower stomach.

"I'm going to touch you now, and I'm going to make you feel good," he said with a crooked smile. "If you want me to stop, just say so and I will do," he promised, waiting for Hotch to nod. He did eventually after he took a deep breath. Rossi curled his fingers over the top of the man's boxers and slipped them off, dropping them on the floor next to his t-shirt. Hotch felt vulnerable and told him that this was Dave, his boyfriend and his best friend, the man that he trusted with his life. He knew he wouldn't hurt him, but he still had doubts.

Rossi paused, seeing the change in his behaviour. He would give him a few minutes to get used to being naked in front of him. He used those few minutes and let his eyes take in Hotch's body. A soft bed of almost black curls sat on top, much different to Rossi's clean shaven self. The younger man is longer than himself, too, albeit thinner. He smiled; it was perfect for Aaron. Different to what he had imagined, but different in a good way.

Carefully, he reached out and took his semi-hard cock in his hand, giving it a slow and firm stroke, teasing the man in front of him. A smirk crossed his lips as Hotch bucked his hips, clearly wanting Rossi to touch him more. He would do so in good time, but for now, he wanted to take it slowly. He slowly increased the speed of his hand, stroking the man a little faster as every minute passed.

Placing his hand around Hotch's hip, Rossi forced him to keep still as he continued to pleasure the man. Hotch grunted, closing his eyes tightly. The pre-cum only made it better for him. He had never imagined being with another man could make him feel like this. For some reason, he had imagined it as being different, but it wasn't. He whimpered and forced his eyes open as Rossi removed his hand.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asked, earning a curt nod from Hotch; he trusted him.

Rossi smirked and laid down between Hotch's legs, blowing his shaft; making sure to tease the man and make him want him. Hotch clenched his fists, grunting – almost whining – Rossi's name. The older man watched him for a few seconds, before lowering his mouth onto his straining shaft. Hotch buried his head into the pillows, his hands gripping the bed sheets beneath him.

"Fuck," he moaned, releasing a shaky breath as Rossi moved his hand up and began to gently fondle his balls. He elicited a whimper of pleasure as the older man began to put his past experiences to good use; his head moving up and down and his tongue licked the underside of Hotch's shaft.

Before long, Hotch could feel his climax begin to build within his stomach. He moved his hand and rested it on the back of Rossi's head, pushing him down on his manhood. Rossi smirked, humming against it and flicking the top as he continued to move his head. Hoch grunted and moaned his name; his body turned stiff moments before he shot his load into Rossi's mouth. The older man swallowed it and licked his lips, before he moved from between his legs.

He kissed Hotch on the lips, before dropping next to him, still smiling. Hotch panted, trying to catch his breath as he came down from his climax. He hadn't felt that good in a long, long time. Rossi turned on his side and watched him, a smile on Hotch's lips as he turned his head to face him.

"What are you thinking about now?" Rossi asked, Hotch's breathing still a little erratic.

"The amazing blow job I just received," he replied. Rossi chuckled and leaned over, kissing him on the lips as he pulled the covers over the pair of them. Hotch placed his hand on the man's cheek and gazed into his eyes.

"I think I love you," he whispered, initiating another kiss. Rossi moved his hand and placed it on Aaron's, tilting his head into it.

"I think I love you, too."


	13. Damned if I don't

**/ So it's chapter thirteen and the final chapter. I'm sad it's come to an end, but I've enjoyed writing it and I hope you lot have enjoyed reading it, too. Hotch/Rossi smut again, but I hope you enjoy. Reviews and comments are appreciated :)/**

Hotch yawned as he forced his eyes to open. He took him a few moments to remember what had happened the previous night and when he did remember, he smiled. He rubbed his eyes and checked his watch for the time; eight AM. He glanced to his boyfriend who was still asleep. He pressed a gentle kiss to his chest through his t-shirt, before laying his head back onto him and shut his eyes again. It was the first morning in a long time that he hadn't woken up and craved the drug that had made his life hell. It was somewhere in the back of his mind, he was sure, but for now, he didn't care.

He was pulled from his train of thought as he felt his lover's hand brush his hair out of his eyes.

"Morning," Hotch mumbled, pressing another kiss to the man's chest. Rossi smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"Morning to you, too," he said softly, placing his hand on Hotch's back as he closed his eyes again. Usually they would be worried about getting up because of Jack, but not that morning. Jack had stopped with Jessica for the night because they were going to the zoo that day. Hotch and Rossi were supposed to go with them considering they both had the day off, but Jack had demanded they stay at home and have some quality time. In Jack's words, it was because,

"Daddy and Uncle Dave need to haved sometime aloned because they loves each other." He had tagged something on the end that had gone along the lines of, "But donted worry, because I'll bringed back some toys do you donted feel lefted out." That had made both men smile and who were they to argue with a very in charge five year old?

"What do you want to do today, considering we have it to ourselves?" Rossi asked, brushing the man's hair out of his eyes again. He didn't get an answer in return. Instead, Hotch just shrugged and started to draw some more shapes on his chest. To Rossi, it was obvious Hotch wanted to ask something. He didn't know that he was holding back because he didn't know exactly _how_ to ask.

Rossi raised his eyebrow and began to draw his own shapes on Hotch's lower back, hoping it put him at ease.

"You know, you can ask me anything and I'll more than likely do it. Barring it's not, 'Dave, can you get me some Heroin' or something similar," he said, earning a nod of the head from Hotch.

"I want to, but I'm nervous," he admitted. Rossi watched him carefully.

"Just take your time," he said as a silence presented itself while Hotch tried to think of a way to ask his question. After a few minutes, Hotch took a deep breath and said,

"I want to make love with you." Rossi smiled and used his hand to tilt the man's chin up, placing a kiss on his lips. Hotch smiled against his lips and sat up, returning the kiss and added more passion behind it. He moved so he was on his knees with his hands resting on Rossi's chest.

Hotch pressed his forehead against Rossi's, his breathing deeper than it usually was; he kissed the man and ran his hands through his hair, pulling away from the kiss. His forehead remained against his as he closed his eyes.

"Can I touch you?" He asked eventually as he opened his eyes. Rossi nodded and together, they removed his t-shirt which ended up on the floor a few seconds later. Once that was done, Hotch just sat there, looking at him. He was apprehensive and nervous; he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Rossi smiled as he watched him and took his hand, placing it on bare chest; the first time Hotch had ever touched him like that.

"Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Draw off what I did last night or whatever you used to do. Hell, even use the porn you've watched at some point in your life if you have to," he told him, earning a slightly embarrassed smirked from the agent. He doesn't say anything though and he just nodded his head while he took yet another deep breath.

Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss to his neck; his left hand reaching up and resting on his neck too. He trembled slightly, but only until he got used to the idea of touching another man. He trailed kisses down his neck and chest until he reached the older man's nipples. He bit his lip and looked up Rossi, almost asking permission. He nodded and offered a supportive smile.

Hotch lowered his head and ran his tongue over Rossi's nipple, causing Rossi to mewl in the most manly way possible. Hotch grinned, only spurred on by Rossi's reactions. It made him happy, knowing that he was pleasing someone. His hand played with the other nipple; twisting and tweaking it gently, while his tongue continued to swirl over the other nub, occasionally nipping at it.

A smirk crowned Hotch's lips when he felt Rossi's erection press against his stomach on one of the man's jerks. He pulled away from the man's chest and settled himself between his legs. He ran his hands down the man's chest and over his stomach, stopping where his boxers started.

Once he had worked up the courage, he hooked his fingers under them and slowly slipped them off. Rossi just let him, a smile on his lips. Hotch bit his lip and took the time to take in the body of his boyfriend; the first time he had ever seen him naked. Even when they roomed together on cases, he had never seen Dave naked. He's relatively surprised when he noticed that he was shaved and looked to him. Rossi just shrugged.

"It's what I like," he said, feeling the need to justify himself. Hotch chuckled and shook his head, leaning forward and placing his finger against his lips.

"I like it," he whispered, removing his finger and kissing him passionately, deeply, putting all of his feelings for the man behind it.

After he examined him for a moment, he reached his hand out shakily and took Rossi's cock in his hand. It felt different than when he touched his own. He pulled at the gums of his lips because of nerves, before he gave a firm, yet slow stroke, just to see if he could do it. Hotch smiled, seeing Rossi closed his eyes and scrunch the bed sheets in his fists. He took this as a sign to continue and more confidently now, stroked him again, eventually picking up a rhythm.

Rossi bucked his hips in time with Hotch's strokes, occasionally gasping the younger man's name. It only fuelled Hotch on more. Without warning, he stopped and Rossi moaned and forced his eyes open, panting. He looked at him, but didn't say anything; he couldn't get the words out even if he had wanted to. Hotch just stared at his friend's cock. It took him awhile, but he slowly lowered his end and his tongue flicked across Rossi's tip. He jerked his hips as though he had just been shocked and Hotch smirked.

Hotch ran his tongue around his mouth, contemplating what his boyfriend tasted like.

"It tastes salty," he said eventually, tilting his head like a curious child would. Rossi chuckled and nodded his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words got caught in his throat as Hotch took him into his mouth. He isn't skilled at it at all and grazes his teeth over Rossi's man occasionally, but Rossi didn't say anything because he had been the same when he gave his first blow job.

Rossi curled his fingers in Aaron's hair, moaning the man's name as he continued to suck him as carefully as he could. He buried his head into the pillow.

"So close, Aaron," he said taking several deep breaths, feeling the familiar tingling that began to build within his stomach. Hotch pulled away suddenly, not ready to take a mouthful of the man's sperm. Rossi opened his eyes to look at him, sitting up and stroking Aaron's cheek for a moment.

"Top or bottom?" He asked. Hotch had to think about his answer, but he eventually answered with,

"Bottom." That took Rossi by surprise, but he nodded and leaned forward, kissing his already swollen lips, his neck, his jaw line, his collarbone. He moved from his position and rummaged through his bedside table, pulling a bottle of lube out.

"Lie down," he said softly, shifting himself as Hotch did as he was told. Rossi spread Hotch's legs for him, pressing a kiss to his stomach. "Relax, it'll help a lot," he explained, shoving a pillow under Hotch's lower back. Hotch is visibly tense and nervous, which only made Rossi even more curious as to why he chose to be bottom. He didn't ask now though, it wasn't the time.

He squirted a generous amount of lube onto Hotch's ass and squirted some onto his finger too, before chucking the bottle next to them on the bed. He would definitely be needing it soon. Aware this was Hotch's first – well, it was in his eyes – he needed to be careful and this meant taking his time, even if all he wanted to do was to make love to the man in front of him.

"Just relax," he whispered again, using his fingers to rub the lube into Hotch's ass. Rossi rubbed his finger in a continuous circle, eventually putting pressure on. He watched as his finger slipped into the man; Hotch gripped the covers tightly, letting out the breath that he had been holding.

"Tell me when you're ready for me to continue," he said, his hand caressing his inner thigh as he waited for him to relax. After a minute or so, Hotch nodded his head. Rossi smiled and slowly began to pull his finger out before pushing it back. This continued until Hotch began to roll his hips in time with him. Rossi took this as a sign to add a second.

A whimper escaped Hotch's lips as he jerked, the pain flaring through his body. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle, but it was an unfamiliar feeling. Again, Rossi paused, waiting for Hotch who eventually gave a nod of the head. As Rossi began to move his fingers, Hotch clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms. The pain soon subsided and he moaned Rossi's name, hissing slightly as the older man scissored his fingers occasionally.

"Ready for me to add a third finger?" He asked him as he ran a hand over his chest, trying to relax him further. Hotch closed his eyes and nodded, wrapping his hands tightly around Rossi's arm. Rossi watched him carefully before he pushed a third finger in; Hotch writhed under the man's fingers, pain shooting through him again. It wasn't a bad pain though, it was a good one.

Rossi waited a few minutes until he felt him relax around his fingers. He didn't wait for Hotch to nod as he began to move his fingers again. Hotch never let go of the man's arm, his head burying itself into the pillow.

"D-Dave, I want you," he whispered as he forced himself to look his boyfriend in the eyes. "I want to feel you in me," he said, offering a shaky smile. Rossi nodded and removed his fingers, causing a whimper of loss from Hotch. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"It will hurt. Just tell me to stop if it gets to be too much," he said, kissing him again as he grabbed the lube. Rossi squirted a generous amount of it onto his hand, using it to coat his shaft. Hotch was nervous, even more so than he had been before, but this was Dave; he loved him and he knew he wouldn't hurt him intentionally. Rossi positioned himself against Aaron's ass, before he looked him in the eyes.

"Are you ready?" He asked, earning a nod from Hotch; he was afraid words would fail him if he tried to speak. Rossi smiled and slowly began to push in. He stopped just after the head was in, seeing that Hotch was holding his breath. "Aaron, relax and breathe," he said, placing his hand on the man's chest.

Hotch did as he told, although it came out as more of a gasp. He took Rossi's hand from his chest and held it tightly.

"Continue," he managed to say as he forced himself to breathe deeply. Rossi nodded his head and continued to push in; Hotch's grip on his hand tightened as he did so and he knew how much it hurt. The older man grunted once he was all the way in, Hotch's muscles clenching him. He noticed that his eyes were closed.

"Aaron, look at me," he said breathlessly. Hotch did as he was told, a shaky smile on his lips. "Do you want me to continue? We can stop if you want to." Hotch nodded his head.

"Don't you dare think about stopping," he whispered, although he was still getting used to the fullness in his ass. Rossi smirked and shifted himself so he was leaning towards Hotch. He pressed a kiss to his chest and then to his lips as he pulled most of the way out, before he slowly pushed back in.

Hotch loosened up eventually and the pair of them managed to get a rhythm going. Hotch eventually rolled his hips in time with Rossi's thrusts.

"Dave," he moaned, wrapping his hand around his shaft. He closed his eyes tightly.

"Shh, Aaron. No talking," he muttered, his hands gripping the man's hips as they made love for the first time. Hotch's eyes shot open and he cried his name as Rossi brushed against his prostate. He wanted to tell him to do it again, but the words got lost and came out as a gasp.

Rossi moved one hand from Aaron's hip to his cock, wrapping his hand around Aaron's and began to stroke it with him. He continued to thrust into him, seeing Hotch smile, despite the fact it was quivering.

"S-so close," he gasped, pushing his hips down against Rossi. The older man leaned forward and his lips hovered above Aaron's.

"Let go, Aaron and stop thinking." He didn't get an answer or even a nod. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling Hotch's muscles clench him. Hotch's body stiffened moments before he cried his name again, shooting his semen all over their hands and his chest. Rossi only managed to get a few more thrusts in himself, before he filled Aaron's ass with his own cum.

Both of them panted, coming down from their highs. Being as careful as he possibly could, Rossi pulled himself out of Aaron, before he dropped next to him, his hand on his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

"How are you feeling?" He managed to get out, turning his head to look at him. Hotch nodded, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"Perfect," he mumbled as he closed his eyes, reimagining the scene in his head. Rossi bit his lip and took the man's hand in his, watching him carefully.

"Why did you choose to be bottom?" Rossi asked, still curious. Hotch just shrugged, stroking the man's hand with his thumb.

"I wanted to know that it didn't have to hurt in a bad way," he said. Rossi smiled and leaned over, kissing him passionately.

"We should get a shower," he whispered as Hotch chuckled.

"I love you too, Dave," he said, shaking his head and turning on his side; kissing him back before pressing his forehead to his. Their morning had only just begun.

**Finish**


End file.
